endless jubilee

A Plea for Progress

2012-01-16T22:22:00.006-07:00

I'm tired and want to go to bed. But something kept nagging at me about my recent hospital stay. I tried to put it out of my mind, I'm just too tired to 'go there' right now. Then I was catching up on Google Reader before drifting off to sleep, and read this post on kidz with quotes from an honorable man and advocate. His call to always do what is right lifted me out of bed and encouraged me to write this letter to the administration of the hospital where I just stayed. Keep in mind that I very literally have decreased blood flow to my brain right now. I know many parts could have been worded better, but here it is in all its raw glory...

To Whom It May Concern:

I'd like to address a situation that arose multiple times during my recent 4-day stay at your facility. I hesitate to do this. I have many positive things to say and am happy to go over all the positives as well, but feel morally obligated to address one issue that I believe needs to be educated to your staff.

This thought has been nagging at me for days, that I needed to come forward and speak for those who cannot speak for themselves, but I didn't want to focus on one negative aspect of my overall positive experience. However, because today we honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I cannot help but remember his wise words, "The time is always right to do what is right." Therefore, I have to spread the word to end a word that many find offensive and unacceptable.

During my stay, I heard four members of your staff use the word retarded, referring to themselves or someone else for doing something stupid. Though I do know this word has latin roots and is used to describe many medical diagnoses, is found to be offensive when used in this manner. The main issue is that people who are literally mentally or physically retarded, find this term when used as a slur, to be highly insulting and offensive.

I am the parent of a child with significant special needs. I run a blog for other parents with children who have special needs. I was not personally offended when this word was used in your facility because I knew it was not done to be hurtful or unkind. However, it was done in ignorance. And ignorance, in my opinion, is the greatest disability. As an advocate for my daughter and all the other beautiful, unique people in this world who find this word offensive, I ask you to educate your staff, let them know that this word is NOT to be used in this manner. The use of this word needs to come to an end.. Not because of one patient's letter and your hopes that you can avoid a letter like this in the future, but because it is the RIGHT thing to do, and because I HOPE that you feel an ethical obligation to do the right thing.

To again echo Dr. King, "Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals." I hope that as you have now been educated of this word's inappropriateness, that you too will become passionately concerned to spread the word to end this word in your organization.

I'd also like to share a link to a video and a few words I wrote about this on my blog awhile back. http://kidzorg.blogspot.com/2011/05/not-acceptable-r-word-psa.html.

Let me end by thanking all those who cared for me during my stay. I work in the healthcare industry myself and admire all those who provide patient care in any aspect. I hope this email/letter isn't seen as a complaint, but as a plea for progress, and that it is taken seriously.

Thank you very much,

Tara Bennett

Streams of Mercy Never Ceasing

2012-01-15T11:49:00.005-07:00

I can't get this song out of my head. Especially the lines, "...streams of mercy never ceasing..." and, "He to rescue me from danger...." Every single doctor and nurse who comes in my room asks if I know how lucky I am. Yes, I do, and am humbled and eternally grateful.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we? I'm not sure where the beginning even is, but when I look back I understand the truth of the phrase, 'hindsight is 20/20.'

I had a horrible head cold most of December that at one point included a ridiculous looking eye infection. No matter how much I tried to treat the congestion, my post nasal drip and therefore cough were just uncontrollable. For several weeks I was sleeping on the couch with 4-5 pillows to help prop me up to try to prevent some of the coughing. At one point I was given Hycodan for the cough, and I thought I had a reaction from that because I was throwing up and just miserable. From here, I'm going to start going with dates. I have a lot of nurse friends or friends who are interested in medical stuff, so since I'm an open book, here ya go. More than anything, though, I'm writing this down for my own record.

December 27 or 28: I was so frustrated the congestion and coughing wouldn't go away. I had prescription-strength decongestants plus was doing essential oils, humidifier, neti pot, anything! So on a lunch break, I ran to Walgreens and decided to try behind the counter Sudafed (again) and see if that would do anything this time. Later that afternoon, I could barely walk in a straight line. I felt dizzy, nauseous, like the room was spinning, and would almost fall over when I walked. I wanted to go home early, but didn't even dare to drive. I called Oby and he said my brother-in-law (who lives close to my work) was actually coming out to our house, so to see if he would bring me when he came. Of course he did. This is one of many of those moments that nearly brings me to tears. I have so many people I can count on. What a beautiful gift! We went out to dinner with them that night and no matter how hard I tried, I could not focus on the conversation. I just didn't feel "right." When we got home, I bent over to get something and just fell right on my face. Twice. I attributed it to a reaction to the Sudafed (even though I had taken Sudafed many times before), and went to bed hoping to feel better the next day. When I was kissing Oby goodnight, he said, "What's wrong with your eye? It looks droopy." All I could think was, thanks a lot, I feel like crap and now I look like crap too... Sheesh.

December 29: I woke up with a very stiff neck, which I attributed to sleeping wrong on the couch with 5 pillows. Took some Ibuprofen and headed to work. About 20 minutes into the drive, the pain was nearly blinding and I was having flashes of light. I went to an Urgent Care. I was diagnosed with sinnusitis, and they thought the pain in my neck was from coughing and sleeping on it incorrectly. We thought *maybe* I was pregnant, but a test ruled that out. I was given antibiotics and told to drink lots of water. Everything -- pain, nausea, coughing, vomiting, got significantly worse hour by hour from that point. I took the antibiotics, but wasn't able to keep them down.

December 30: Bound and determined to go to Aunt Reita's funeral, I got up and got ready. Combing out my hair after my shower nearly killed me from the pain in my neck. I threw up every sip of Sprite and nibble of saltines I tried to ingest. But I was NOT going to miss Aunt Reita's funeral. So we headed there, having to pull over 3-4 times on our way. I greeted the family at the viewing, and had to run to the bathroom twice. When I got up to throw up the third time, I knew I needed to leave. Although I didn't want to miss Aunt Reita's funeral, I also didn't want to disrupt it or turn everyone's attention to me. So we left. Again, everything continued to get worse and worse. The pain in my neck was now radiating into every part of my head. It literally felt like there were ice picks and axes jabbed into about 3 spots of my head. Oby was worried about me and took me to the ER. They ruled out meningitis because I was able to move my neck and although my white blood cell count was a little high, it wasn't anywhere near what it would be if I had meningitis. They did a CT scan, which they said showed no masses or hemorrhages, and therefore decided I was having a "weird migraine." They didn't think I needed the antibiotics which had been prescribed the day before. They gave me Zofran for nausea and sent us home. They said if I wasn't a lot better in 2-3 days, to come back.

December 31: The Zofran was NOT working. Still not keeping anything down. Just laid in bed all day and tried to sleep. Prayed a lot. When my neighbors started the New Year's Eve fireworks and celebrations at midnight, I was pretty sure I might die from the pain it caused in my head.

January 1: Still not better from the last ER visit, still not keeping anything down and worried about dehydration, we went back to the ER. This time I had a female doctor. Not do be a sexist or anything, but it doesn't hurt a doctor to have education, knowledge AND intuition. Just sayin'. She was definitely taking me seriously (whereas no other doctor had seemed to before). She repeated the CT scan of my brain and neck, did with and without contrast, consulted with lots of doctors.... she was really worried about me. I was just glad to be taken seriously. She said the CT scan showed "something" by my mandible, and since my white blood cell count was a little high that I must have an infection that settled in my jaw. That triggered the memory that I had a tooth extracted on that side back in October. We all decided I must have a lingering infection from that. I was put on Augmentin for an antibiotic, switched to Phenergran for nausea, Percocet for pain, and sent home. But this doctor told me she was really, really concerned, and if I wasn't feeling significantly better in 2 days, said she wanted me back in the ER or at least to follow up with my primary care physician.

January 3 (day): I had been keeping food down since I started the Phenergran, but my head pain was worse instead of better (even though I didn't think that was possible). I went to see my primary care physician (who was my dad's primary care physician, since I don't usually have health issues and don't see a doctor regularly). He was friendly, but a little condescending (at first). He said I needed to be patient with the antibiotics, and suggested I drink more water. He couldn't see me rolling my eyes because I was wearing sunglasses in the room since light seemed to make the head pain a little worse. So while he did his notes in the computer, I asked if I could lay down because holding my own head up made the pain even that much worse, but if I could rest my head, the neck pain subsided significantly. He said I could lay down, then when I did, he could see the relief on my face. He stopped typing. He came over and did a bunch of neurological tests (squeeze my fingers, do you feel me touching your feet, etc.). He said, I want you to go to the Emergency Room and get an MRI. Wow, change of tune. He said he'd had a serious spinal infection a few years ago and that laying down was the only thing that relieved the pain. So when I said that to him, he was stopped in his tracks. I was hesitant to go back to the ER, but he practically insisted. "Obviously, it's your choice since you have to pay the copay, but if you were my daughter, I would insist on it." I went home to eat dinner and think about it. Ugh, the ER.... sitting in the waiting room with stinky people for hours, only to be told you're crazy and to go home... I just couldn't bare it yet again. But I thought, what if something life-altering or life-threatening happens and I think, 'If only I had gone to the ER like he said.' I hate regrets, so I couldn't bare that thought. So off we went.

January 3 (evening): Checked in to the ER for the 3rd time that week. We were regulars, that's not a good thing. The wait was the longest it had been, and the pain was worse than ever. When I finally saw the doctor, we explained that we were there because my primary care physician wanted me to get an MRI. He said he would look at my prior CT scans and come back. He came back and said everything looked normal on the CTs, so I just needed to wait for the migraine to go away and the antibiotic to work on the infection. I asked if he could give me a higher dose of Percocet or a different type of pain medication to try to keep the head pain under control. Suddenly, I was seen as a drug seeker and taken even less seriously than before. He said I could try taking 1.5 pills instead of 1, but was trying hard not to roll his eyes and I could tell. Then I told him I knew his brother, and he went to write up the discharge papers. I don't know if it's because he knew I knew his brother or what, but he decided to investigate a little deeper. He talked to the female doctor that I had seen at the previous ER visit. He called and consulted with other doctors. Like I say, I don't know what changed his tune, but he came back with a different attitude. Suddenly he was worried too. He said to go home, drink lots of water, alternate heat and ice, rest as much as possible, and if I wasn't 100% better in 2 days, he would order the MRI. He gave me his personal cell phone number so we could be in close contact.

January 4: Just babying myself and being babied. My primary care physician called to see how the MRI went. When he found out they didn't do one, he was livid. LIVID! He said I absolutely needed to demand to have one as soon as possible. He said he would order it, but since he's not an ER physician, it would take weeks. The ER physician could order one stat. Since the pain was only getting worse, we did call the ER physician. He said he would see what he could do, but again assured us that he didn't think I needed one. He called back and said he scheduled one for January 10 (SIX days later).

January 5-6: Slowly feeling a little better... a little less nausea and a little less pain.

January 7: Even just a little bit better. My work was having a fancy work party at Hotel Monaco that I had bought an outfit for and everything. I really, really wanted to go. So even though I didn't really feel up to it, we went. I was in miserable having to hold my own head up 'n all, but it was still fun, lovely, and the food divine!

January 8-10: I started weening myself off the Percocet and only use Ibuprofen so I could drive and function at work. I was in pretty bad pain only using Ibuprofen, but it was nothing compared to what it had been.

January 10 (evening): Went to get the MRI after work. I had been told I would get three MRI's: brain, neck and spine. So when the radiology tech said they were doing one MRI of the brain, I was befuddled. I asked if we could wait, call the ordering physician to make sure it was right, just so I didn't have to come back. We did so. He answered! Yay! I thought, finally, someone is on my side and we are going to get answers. So I put him on speaker so he could clarify to the tech what needed to be done. He said something along the lines of, 'Well, she doesn't really need any MRI done, but let's get one of the brain.' I was discouraged and disheartened, and unable to fight at that point. I got the brain MRI, all the while knowing I would be back.

January 11: Big day for me. The girl was in Salt Lake from Boston for the study. We had plans to do dinner and a big interview that night. I also had people in from out of town at work and new employees I was training. This was the best I had felt in at least a month. I would dare say I felt great. I definitely still had neck pain, but it was less severe, and no longer had the headache at all! I thought I had just had some freaky virus and hoped it was behind me! Boy, was I on top of the world that day. Then at about 2 pm the radiology department called and said the radiologist wanted to speak to me immediately and could he reach me at this number. I talked to him and he said he saw "an artifact" on my brain MRI and that we needed to do a more thorough brain MRI as well as multiple MRI's of my neck to be able to know for sure what it was, and when was the soonest I could be in. I explained, well I'm working and I have an important appointment tonight, let's do it tomorrow. No, he said, tomorrow is too late. What is the soonest you could be here after your appointment. I was obviously a little freaked out, but the nurses I work with said an artifact on an MRI could be any number of things and not to worry. I finished my work day and had the dinner/interview.

January 11 (evening): Oby drove me to the MRI. He said, "What if it's something serious?" "Then we'll deal with it. I can't imagine anything that would rock my world. But if I die, put 'I told you I was sick!' on my head stone." I checked in with MRI. They said they didn't show an appointment for that name. Oh great, I thought. Here we go. She went in the back to ask someone, they came out to the waiting room, and escorted me directly back to the MRI scan. The radiology tech asked what had been so important that I couldn't come in until so late. I explained the study and the interview, to which he replied, "Hmph." Okay, I was getting a little freaked out. He said we're going to do one MRI, I'm going to send the images to the radiologist, and if he sees something, we'll do more. We did 4 MRI's because he kept seeing something. I knew something was up, but I have never in my life experienced more peace. I'm almost ashamed to admit that a little part of me was happy because I felt vindication. He took me to the waiting room and said he would consult with the radiologist and to not go anywhere. It was only 20 seconds later, he came and got me and said the radiologist wanted to talk to me. He explained I have a left distal vertebral artery dissection, a blockage in one of my arteries, and that I need to go to the Emergency Room for immediate treatment. I said, "Okay, can you say the diagnosis one more time, I'd like to write it down." "There's no time for that! Go to the emergency room, I'll have them write it down for you."

Okay, vindication is good, but he definitely freaked me out.

So here I am, still in the hospital. It is highly uncommon that they catch a vertebral artery dissection BEFORE the person has a stroke. Usually the person has a stroke, then they do an MRI and see that this was the cause. My neurosurgeon said in 15 years of being a neurosurgeon, he has only seen 2 cases where someone had this without also having a stroke.

I asked the neurologist to show Oby and I the CT scans and MRI's yesterday. It was very sobering. The tear is big and there is coagulated blood around the tear... the artery is SO narrow, it really is a MIRACLE I didn't have a stroke, and the hospital staff has not stopped telling me so since I've been here. It wasn't that I didn't believe them, but to see it was all the more humbling.

I was on Heparin, then Heparin and Coumadin, then Coumadin and Lovenox. I used to be a nurse assistant, so I document all my intake and output on the white board, make my own bed, get my own supplies and drinks.... I've been yelled at more than once and thanked more than once. Don't get me wrong, they've taken VERY good care of me, but I do what I can. I've been showered with deliveries, visits, prayers, priesthood blessings, messages, facebook support, and divine intervention. I've been enjoying room service, Pandora, Pinterest, and catching up on some of my projects. But I've missed this little girl like crazy. She's been SO brave and good, though! She comes to visit, but never wants to stay for very long. I think she's just mad that I won't give her my teddy bear!

I don't care if anyone thinks I'm crazy, but angels reside in this hospital room with me. I don't see them, I don't talk with them, but I feel their presence of love and immense peace. I have been blessed with so much peace, I've never been very worried. The only thing I really have worried about have been Chloe, Oby and our parents worrying about me. Even if I do have a stroke with side effects or even if I die. I really trust my Heavenly Father. I'm not trying to seem like the most spiritual person alive, but I just really do know that God's will is the greatest. I trust Him. And I feel like if He wanted me to or okay with me having a stroke or passing away, it would have already happened.

I'm not out of the woods yet. There's still a chance I'll have a stroke. But they're sending me home today. I was a little hesitant. I mean, there's not an endless supply of Diet Dr. Pepper and the good ice at home. There's not room service. If anything does happen, I'm not on monitors for specialists to immediately see. But I've been told that although there's still a chance, it's slim (no matter how hard I try, they won't give me a percentage), and also that if I do have a stroke or have signs that a stroke is about to happen, there's not really a lot they could do for me in the hospital anyway besides treat the symptoms. So if that happens at home, we could just call an ambulance or rush to the ER. And this way I can be home with my sweethearts. And I DO miss them immensely.

I can honestly say that although this experience has been painful, frustrating, and exhausting, I am grateful for it. I am grateful for the human body. I mentioned that in my previous post before I even knew what was going on. The complex inner workings of the human body ASTOUND me! Even though the physical pain I had at certain times during this experience was nearly unbearable, I was grateful for it, even when I was going through it. Because I knew it was God's masterpiece communicating that something was wrong. What a gift our bodies are! What a gift life is! And the people who love and support us and are there when we REALLY need them, it's such a gift! I think I already knew all of that before this, but this has certainly emphasized my gratitude for those things and my CARPE DIEM attitude! Life and love are such beautiful gifts. I want to embrace them more than ever, and NEVER miss an opportunity to give service, show gratitude, or express love.

THANK YOU to everyone who has shown love and support during this ordeal. I have truly gained strength and courage from it. I feel the power of everyone's prayers. This has been the sweetest of all the Lord's mercies on me. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.

Going "There"

2012-01-07T11:10:00.008-07:00

It's no secret:

I definitely don't hide that fact, but I try not to inundate my blog readers with doctrinal concepts or persuasive nudgings to look into it themselves. I just want to be me and share it with whoever wants to know about it and if they want more, I'm happy to give them more. So when someone from a college in Boston emailed me saying they are doing a study on Mormon parents raising children with special needs and wondered if I would be interested in participating, I gladly accepted the invitation.

Then I hesitated a bit. I mean, I'm not a perfect Mormon by any stretch of the imagination! One of my co-workers calls me Jack (for Jack Mormon). I don't say that to brag at all, but it's just true. He thinks because I swear on occasion (gasp!) and am not afraid to go to venues where there is drinking (gasp!) and drink Diet Mtn. Dew (gasp!) that surely I cannot claim to be a "real" Mormon. Whatevs, dude. Do I have room for improvement? Yes! Infinite room! But let me tell you what, I have truly questioned, studied, and looked at the LDS doctrine. I have been through the depths of my own personal hell trying to figure out what and who I believe in. And time after time, experience after experience, I have learned and gained knowledge of and faith in an eternal Father in Heaven who loves His children immeasurably and speaks to them through prophets, scriptures, and personal revelation.... just as is taught in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I cannot deny my experiences and am forever grateful for them so I have a compass in the days ahead. So I dusted off my insecurities and am going forward with the process, trying to give my perspective as an imperfect person's understanding of infallible, infinite truths.

So far, our interview has been via email, but she is coming to Salt Lake next week for an in-person meeting and to see some of the sites. It has been fun digging a little deeper into my personal beliefs and put them into words for someone else to read. Anne is not Mormon, but has been very respectful and I appreciate that. I'm actually grateful this study will be done by someone not of the LDS faith to give a non-biased perspective. I thought I'd share things we've discussed so far, mostly to keep my own record. Many answers are links, either my own or others, that do a good job of summing up my feelings on the matter(s).

1. Can you give me an introduction to Chloe and your entrance into the special needs community?

Chloe's Story

2. I've heard many LDS women speak of their children as "special souls" who are on this earth for a particular reason. I've also read many talks given by people in positions of authority in the church that lay out specific theological responses to disability. What do you think of all this? Does it impact how you see your daughter and feel about her purpose in this world?

First and foremost, let me start by saying I believe every single person is/has a unique and “special soul.” Chloe is no exception! I believe her spirit is bursting with joy and unconditional love for everyone. She has a special ability to see only the good in people, and to uplift people’s spirits just by being her. Friends and families going through difficult times ache to be around her, they beg to come over for a visit or for us to bring Chloe to them because there is no greater medicine for sadness than a dose of Chloe’s big, happy spirit! You will probably only understand this when you meet her. Do I think she would have been the same soul in a “typical” body? Yes. But I think it would have been more easily overlooked. I also think the fact that she was given and chose to accept this life encourages those who know Chloe to choose service and gratitude a lot more often than they otherwise would have. Being Chloe’s mother is a profound privilege that is nearly impossible to put into words. Also, I’m writing this with Sesame Street in the background, so I’m not sure how clear it is, but this is the best I can do for now.

Who Chloe Is Vs What Chloe Has
Wait and See
Fragile Life
Who We Are
Miracle
Heavenly Story
Meeting Life's Challenges
Sickly
Works of God
The Young Women Values, specifically Divine nature & Individual Worth

3. What made you start Kidz?

So Much More

4. What do you think of the special needs blogging community in general? Have there been moments when it's really helped you out?

Where I Land
Ode to Blogging

5. How do you feel about doctors? Do you tend to trust them? I know one mother said that she trusted doctors but that they were "just doctors" and not privy to divine workings. What do you think of that?

For some reason, this is the hardest for me to answer. I know exactly how I feel about it, but I don’t know exactly how to communicate it. I’ll do my best, though.

I feel inclined, first of all, to let you know that I think the profound miracle that is the human body is actual proof that there is a God. The inner workings of the body, the way it is created, the way it grows, the way it presents pain, the way it fights disease, etc., etc., etc…. AMAZING! I just cannot see how anyone could understand these things at any level and not believe in a divine Creator.

That being said, I have absolute respect in those who choose to understand the human body to the best of their ability, and learn to treat different ailments. I have a brother-in-law in medical school and I do and have worked in the healthcare industry for many years. Also, given our situation with Chloe’s physical condition, I have put my most prized possession, my fragile, vulnerable, precious daughter, in the hands of medical professionals more times than I can count! Without question, they have my admiration and trust.

However, (you knew that was coming, didn’t you?) my respect and trust for medical professionals goes full circle back to the beginning of my answer. I believe medical doctor’s knowledge is limited, whereas the wisdom and love of our Heavenly Father is infinite. My favorite and most trusted doctors are those who are humble and freely admit that they don’t know everything, might need to study more, consult with other doctors, etc., before being able to determine the best plan of action. I don’t know or care, really, if our doctors are Mormon or atheist. I don’t expect them to seek divine intervention, that is something I do and my family does as we take different steps in regard to Chloe’s health. I gather as much information and knowledge from doctors as I can possibly take in, then my husband and I discuss the information, make a decision together, and take that decision to our Heavenly Father in prayer. If, after sincere prayer, we feel peaceful about our decision(s), we go forward. If not, we keep asking questions, we get more opinions, we dig deeper. More often than not, we feel good about the direction doctors give and go with their advice.

6. Did you serve a mission or attend a BYU school?

I did not serve a mission or go to BYU. My husband did go on a mission, though, to the Kennewick, Washington area. I went to Utah State, University of Utah, and University of Phoenix. I have a Bachelor's in Business Management and am working on a Master's in Healthcare Administration. (Just 3 classes to go!)

~~~

If any of you in the Salt Lake area are LDS, have a special needs child(ren) and would like to meet Anne this upcoming week and/or participate in the study, just let me know. I know she would welcome any takers!

Aunt Reita

2012-01-02T20:47:00.005-07:00

In case you missed it in an earlier post, my beautiful Aunt Reita passed away Christmas morning. I loved her SO much! Adored her, in fact! She had a gift to be happy no matter what her circumstances were, and to share that happiness with others!

She was an aunt through marriage - she was married to my mom's brother, Dean. He tragically died in a mining accident when he was only in his 20's. They had three young children at the time of his death, the youngest only 6 months old. That wasn't the beginning or the end of the hardships she would face. But you never, ever would have guessed that about her -- she was truly always bursting with joy! I admired that so much about her, but somehow now that she's gone, I appreciate it even more.

Even though Aunt Reita remarried twice after Dean passed away, it was no secret that Dean was her true love and that she could hardly wait to be reunited with him. That's why she asked my dad to sing the song, 'Love, Me,' by Collin Raye, at her funeral.

Aunt Reita was a makeup artist for Clinique for many years. In my teens and early 20's, I'd go to Macy's so Aunt Reita could give me a makeover (and samples, of course!) She really taught me how to see and emphasize the beauty in myself and in my life. I will always cherish the talks we had while she did my makeup. She was always a top salesman, and I think that's why -- she didn't sell makeup, she sold a lifestyle of joy and seeing true beauty. What a special soul she is!!!

At Aunt Reita's viewing, when I was hugging one of her daughters, she whispered to me, "Mom adored you. I hope you know that." All I could think was, 'I did! I knew that!' What a gift, that she was able to leave no question in the minds and hearts of those she loved how she felt about them. I am SO grateful to her for always showing me in word and deed how much she loved me. I felt just the same for her! What an extraordinary woman!

I had to leave before Aunt Reita's funeral started. More on that later, but I have been very, very sick. Unfortunately I was not keeping liquids or food down that day, and didn't want to disrupt the funeral or cause a scene... Plus, I couldn't concentrate anyway. As I was leaving, I was very close to having a meltdown.... I couldn't believe I wasn't going to attend my cherished aunt's funeral! But heaven opened for just a split second, long enough for Aunt Reita to let me know it was okay. What a gift. Thank you, Aunt Reita.

I put together this little video of my beautiful Reita Mae. I love you forever and will miss you greatly, until we meet again!

Highlight Videos From 2011

2012-01-02T20:37:00.002-07:00

I made highlight videos last year and they were such a hit with our moms, I was told that I had to do it every year from now on! lol, but I don't mind, it's lots of fun to gather the photos throughout the year, then really get to appreciate the moments when I compile them at the end of the year. I really love our families! We are SO immensely blessed!!!

I can hardly wait for the highlights of 2012 to unfold. I know it's going to be another wonderful year!!! Cheers!

Just One More!

2012-01-02T20:03:00.003-07:00

Christmas always goes by so quickly, doesn't it?! So even though it was a bummer that my brother's family couldn't make it to Utah in time for Christmas, having just one more party the day after Christmas was a little bonus to our holiday!

Grammy and Papa with their cute grandkids. We are so blessed!!!

Izabella (who now insists on being called Bella, like the princess)

Aspen, Jake & Wyatt... digging in!

Wyatt, ready for laser tag!

Chloe with her new bowling ramp!
She got an actual bowling ball, but we need to adjust the ramp, so we made this soccer ball work for awhile ;)

And... that's a wrap! We hope everyone had a Holly Jolly Christmas!!! xo

Christmas Night

2012-01-02T17:03:00.007-07:00

Christmas night was spent with the Bennett family. Well, except for the Norseth's who were at home in California enjoying their brand new baby Freddy. This picture makes me giggle, what a cute group of misfits! Zeke, standing there only because of the threat that his toys might be taken away, Izzy hopping on one leg, Chloe smiling at the ceiling, Madi throwing a fit, and Tonio trying to wrangle Madi. (sigh), I love it!

Chloe was sure looking cute.

There were presents...

LOTS of presents!!!....

But the real reason were were there was just to be together!

We had so much fun playing Mingle with my side of the family the night before, we thought we'd give the Bennett's the same pleasure. I think this picture sums it up!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

The Gifts We Keep

2012-01-02T15:50:00.016-07:00

Every year, I have a Christmas anthem, a song that really touches me and becomes my theme for the Christmas season. This year was no different! Jack Johnson's In the Morning has a light-hearted tune, but a deep message. It is all about the magic of Christmas morning, but the lines that really get me are, "These are the gifts we keep... these moments are the only gifts we need." I tried to remember that message throughout the entire month of December, gathering those little glimpses of Christmas magic from Chloe and storing them in my heart.... those moments were my true Christmas gifts! Christmas morning was filled with magical moments for me to store in my heart and keep forever! What a blessed day :)

Chloe's excitement was a little delayed Christmas morning. She wanted to keep sleeping! But her smile slowly appeared when we told her that Santa had come in the night!

Look at her face. I just know if she could speak, she would have been saying, "Mom, look! Santa came! He really came!"

She almost burst with anticipation to play with 'her very own computer,' that she had asked for from Santa. She didn't even wait for it to be turned all the way on!

There it is again, a gift for Mom to keep -- that face! I love it!!! It reminds me of another line from the song "So much joy, I'm afraid to be swept away."....

Grammy and Papa got to see some of the Christmas morning magic as well. Chloe just couldn't get enough of ripping the paper off. I swear she didn't even care what was hiding beneath the paper, she just wanted to rip!!!

Oby and I both got spoiled this year -- too many gifts to even name, but I will say that Oby treated me well and so did our parents! The majority of Oby's gifts were camping-themed, but I think he was most excited about this camping chef. I have a feeling more tent camping is in our future, and that's fine with me!

The tradition has usually been to have breakfast at Grandma and Grandpa Bennett's house. We switched things up a little this year, but still enjoyed having breakfast at Nana's with Grandma and Grandpa Taylor. Homemade muffins, fresh fruit, good company... couldn't ask for more than that!...

As long as Chloe got to see Izzy and show off her iPad, she was happy :)

We still got to stop by and see Grandma and Grandpa Bennett. I think getting to see Chloe was the only thing they really wanted for Christmas anyway! Oh how they adore her!!!

I played piano for the choir at church Christmas day. I wasn't necessarily looking forward to having church on Christmas day, thinking it would cut into our traditions. How wrong I was! It was such a joyous day! My emotions were so close to the surface, being able to truly celebrate Christ on His day. My heart was so tender listening to children sing about the nativity, I was afraid I might just turn into a big puddle. I kept praying that I could keep my emotions in check and I did.

Then I rushed home to be with my sweethearts (they were both fighting a bug so we decided we didn't want to take our chances and kept them home from church). The first thing my mom said when I came in to get Chloe was, "I have bad news."

My beautiful Aunt Reita had passed away that morning.

Just a couple days before she had dropped a present off for my mom. It was a sign that said, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain." Never before has someone lived that concept more than Aunt Reita. She had such a hard life, yet was literally bubbling over with contagious happiness!

Although this was such a hard thing to know, it put the true meaning of Christmas at the forefront of my mind. The symbols of Christmas that were all around -- the evergreen tree pointing to heaven, the eternal round wreath, etc. -- were there to remind me that Christ's birth, life, and atonement were the true gifts of Christmas, so that the sting of death, the painful separation from those we love, is only temporary. How grateful I am for my Savior and the knowledge that He lives and because of that we will all live again.

After a few moments of grief, I couldn't help but think of the special reunions that were happening in heaven right then. Here is my Aunt Reita greeting my Aunt Luana at a Christmas party about 15 years ago. Aunt Luana and Uncle Revere had been on an LDS Mission for about 18 months and were supposed to be returning the next January. But they got to come home a month early and surprised us at the big family party. I was the first to see her, then got to take pictures of all the excited faces as she surprised us!!!

Aunt Luana passed away a few short years after that party. The image of my two blessed aunts reuniting in heaven was another of those gifts that made my Christmas extra special this year.

Reita Mae Bybee

June 29, 1936 ~ December 25, 2011

To Grammy's House We Go!

2012-01-02T15:09:00.006-07:00

When Oby asked my parents for my hand in marriage, I'm pretty sure my mom said something like, 'Okay, as long as we get to have her on Christmas Eve.'

Christmas Eve is my family's most important day of the year. It has changed through the years, but the one constant is that we are together, eat far too much really good food, and always have a wonderful time!

That day, I kept telling Chloe we were going to Grammy's house and was singing the song, 'Over the river and through the woods, to Grammy's house we go!' When we were actually walking to my mom's house -- which is next door -- I changed the lyrics to 'Over the steps and through the driveway, to Grammy's house we go!' Chloe laughed, okay? We think I'm funny! ;)

Chloe really does love and appreciate the true meaning of Christmas, she loves singing songs about Jesus, and looking at pictures of the nativity.... But she also loves presents! She's more into ripping the paper off than anything, but the actual presents are good too. Here she is with the first gifts she got this Christmas, from Grammy of course -- a ball popper toy and a snuggly blankie that says, 'I love my Grandma.' That smile of hers is my Christmas present!!! I LOVE her!

Here's the family playing Minute to win It games. I'm honestly surprised no one was significantly injured. We were quite rambunctious, but isn't that the point!?....

And here we were playing a game of 'Mingle.' Chloe and I sat this one out, but Chloe was in hysterics watching everyone! It was a side-splitter for sure....

In the end, nothing was better than just snuggling up with Papa in PJ's, SO thoroughly excited for Santa to come in the night!....

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-23T16:16:00.002-07:00

I have been the worst blogger lately!
We have been taking turns being sick around here, but are doing well now and enjoying the season! We hope you are too!

Angels Among Us

2011-12-17T15:14:00.007-07:00

I wanted to share the details of a Christmas party I helped plan for our ward's Relief Society. In case anyone needed any Christmas party ideas (a few of you have asked), and as an excuse to share the recipe we used. :)

It was themed 'Angels Among Us' and was about how small acts of service make a big impact on the lives of others and help us to become more like Christ. It was simple and lovely. We got the original idea here on Sugardoodle.

Those of us in charge served dinner to the ladies. It was a nice change from the typical potluck-style. Our centerpieces were divine, I really wish I had gotten a picture of them! Oh, and dinner was delish! We served this Parmesan Baked Chicken along with baked potatoes, salad, rolls and cheesecake. Yummers!

Parmesan Baked Chicken

2.5 lbs. chicken, cut into nice size portions
4 slices bread (the cheap stuff works best)
3/4 c parmesan cheese (not fresh)
1/8 c parsley flakes
1 t salt
1 t garlic salt
1/8 t pepper
1/2 c butter (or less)
Mayonnaise

Blend the bread in the blender, then mix with cheese, parsley flakes, and
seasoning. Dip chicken breast in mayonnaise, then roll in crumb mixture
until coated. Place in pan. Drizzle butter on top. Cover with foil and
bake 1-1/2 hours. Uncover and bake 15-20 minutes more or until slightly
crispy. Bake time may be a little less, depending on the pan and oven.

After dinner, we showed this video:

For a few weeks before the party, we had passed around papers during Sunday School asking people to share anonymous stories about how someone from the ward had done an act of service for them and how that impacted their life.

Then we read the stories that had been shared anonymously. My very favorite part of the stories was that the acts of service were truly sooo simple! The littlest things like scooting over to make room for someone to sit by another person, being understanding when someone couldn't make it to something because their child was ill, not being in a rush to get home after church so they could visit and become better friends.... I don't remember everything, but honestly almost every story was about such simple acts of kindness! It really is the little things!

Two teenage sisters in our ward sang a duet of O Holy Night. They really sounded like angels singing! And the 2nd verse went perfectly with our theme!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!

Everyone was given an angel favor with a quote:

"When we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods. Some of them gave birth to us, and in my case, one of them consented to marry me. Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind.” ― Jeffrey R. Holland

This party was just one more thing that has brought the Christmas spirit to this bursting heart of mine! Usually when I think of someone who is having a hard time, I wish there were something I could to help, but think there isn't so I do nothing. But that night truly did teach me to stop thinking and feeling that way. Now if anyone ever comes to mind, I try to do something -- anything. I hope I don't forget this little lesson, because as I look back and think of the things that have helped me the most, many of them were small and simple kindnesses by others. There is always something we can do.

I'll end with this video because it's a song about angels, but mostly because Chloe loves it. She seriously goes bazurko when she hears it! Totally makes me giggle :)

I Can't Believe It's Already December!

2011-12-01T18:35:00.007-07:00

Seriously, where does the time go?! Thankfully, I've been preparing for Christmas for a few months, so I'm not stressed that the season is upon us, but I just truly can't believe it.

Sweet Chloe is still having a pretty rough time, but I do think we're starting to make a turn for the better. We still haven't gotten any word about the EEG (no news is good news?), but she finally, inexplicably, started sleeping again last week. Then two days later, she got Croup, and since then we've added double ear infection, strep, and eye infection to the list. Sweet girl, she's still pretty happy most of the time -- as long as Mom is holding her, that is. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, just updating the world as to why I haven't been blogging! I know we are so blessed and that she truly is relatively healthy, and I'm SO grateful for that! Anyway, here are some pictures since the last time I posted.

Chloe in some super cute fall-ish outfits. No smiles, though, little stinker!

Thanksgiving was a delight. We went to my mom's house and ate far too much pie with the one's we love! I just adore these two...

My cousin, Marianne, with Chloe. I promise you Chloe was giving a million dollar smile until the second I clicked the shutter!

Ah football and a tryptophan-induced nap with Daddy. What's better than that!?....

Sweet girl getting nebulizer treatments during the days of Croup:

And last, but not least, a sneak peek of our Christmas card. This isn't the picture we're using, but this is Chloe's little outfit. I just love this precious child.

The Kindness of Others

2011-11-20T14:20:00.009-07:00

Chloe is still not sleeping very much. On a good night, she/we get 3 hours of shut eye. We are zombies! But thanks to the kindness of others (mostly our parents who are so willing to help out with Chloe, especially my mom who keeps her 1-2 nights a week and those angels who come and attend to her and help entertain her when we've got to get just a few more minutes of shut-eye), we are making it. We are trying to figure out what's causing this sleep-deprived trend, though, so little miss got an EEG last week. It was easier for Oby to take off work than for me to that day, so he got the privilege of hanging out with her. I just love being with her in these situations. She inspires me SO much! She is so happy and brave.

This is one of my favorite things Chloe does. This is her trying with ALL her might to sit up/hold her head up. If I put forth half this much effort in half my life's endeavors, I still wouldn't be half the person Chloe is....

When Chloe was getting the EEG, the technician gave her this present from an anonymous friend. It is a sweet pillow case and touching poem. This touched my heart so much.

After two late nights in a row (Breaking Dawn girl's night and Rachel Yamagata concert with my sweetheart), I knew it was going to be rough to make it to the early morning Turkey Trot. Poor Chloe got up at 2 that morning, so she was EXTRA tired, poor thing!

I'd like to officially introduce you all to the TRUE faces behind ALL the playground fund raisers: Tiffany, Kresta and the rest of the Syracuse City Parks & Rec Dept. They are AMAZING! I am so lucky to know them, let alone call them friend. My heart is so full when I think of them, they constantly AMAZE me with their service and kindness! I could go on and on, but I'll just leave you with a pic of their sweet faces :)

Speaking of AMAZING, SUPPORTIVE, and all-around INCREDIBLE people, check out all these folks -- most of them complete strangers to me -- who came out on an early Saturday morning after a snow storm to come PAY to RUN in the cold, then stay and PAY some more money for stuff being sold at the silent auction. I tell ya what, I will NEVER be able to fully express the gratitude I have for the good hearts of others and how that has touched my life. THANK YOU, everyone!

If you look closely, you'll see Oby and I running in the picture above. We "trotted" 2k, then "waddled" for 3k. But hey, at least I did it this year! haha. That pic only shows about 1/3 of the people who actually came. Amazing, right? It was REALLY cold! :)

The playground has received numerous grants and donations that leave my jaw on the floor. We are being tremendously supported and plan to break ground next spring to complete the 1st of two phases (which is basically everything except for the restroom and splash pad). To see a dream come to fruition like this leaves me incredibly humble. To raise money for the 2nd phase, we have other fantastic things coming up, including a Harley giveaway (you read that right) and a Mindy Gledhill benefit concert! So many fun things to come! And ALL because of the kindness of others.

You're Welcome

2011-11-14T18:03:00.006-07:00

Thought I'd share my Christmas playlist. Because I'm nice like that. And if you think it's too early to listen to Christmas music, we're just going to have to agree to disagree.... I've been listening to Christmas music since the end of September! ;)

The free version of this playlist only allows me to show 5 songs on the embedded player, but for the full playlist (100 fabulous, festive songs), go here. Well, my actual holiday playlist is 500+ songs, but the site didn't allow me to upload that many mp3's (for free anyway). If you know much about me and my music choices, then the randomness of the playlist will come as no surprise. I'm sure most people won't like ALL the songs, but hopefully there are a few new ones for you to enjoy or old ones you forgot about! Hooray for Christmas AND Christmas music!!!!!

This is Halloween

2011-10-31T22:22:00.008-06:00

This is Halloween
Everybody make a scream
Aaaah!

I don't know if that's how the lyrics go to the song from Nightmare Before Christmas, but that's how my niece and I sing them, so just go with it, ok? ;)

I'm TIRED. Chloe hasn't been sleeping (we think weather changes cause seizure activity) and I've been fighting a serious infection from an abscessed tooth (I'll spare the details, but UGH). We are in survival mode around here, but with teamwork between Oby and I, and help from our parents, we've been making it and have even managed to squeeze in some Halloween-style fun! Here are pictures, unedited and in absolutely no particular order, I'm too lazy for that today!

Chloe as a cute little Butterfly Fairy :)

A legacy of Gayle's

Bonnie Gayle (my mom), Liberty Gayle (Penny's granddaughter), Penny Gayle (my mom's niece/my cousin), & Chloe Gayle (need we say more?)

Beautiful name. Beautiful women.

Chloe with her 2nd cousins on my side of the family. We don't see them nearly enough, but absence does not make Chloe love them less -- she adores them!!!

The girls love any excuse to play dress up! SO CUTE!!!

It's hard to tell how scary this yard was in the picture
The guy they're standing by is holding a headless, bloody DOLL
Chloe and Izz were a little freaked, but giggled after! :)

Chloe had a ghost outfit to wear trick-or-treating. I guess you can see how that panned out.

Chloe's kitty pumpkin :)

Nana's friendly greeter ;)

My Lil' Punkin'

2011-10-23T23:06:00.003-06:00

Chloe has SO many cute Halloween-themed shirts, tights, pants, hair bows and earrings, she just might go the entire month of October without wearing the same thing twice! I wish I had time to capture them all on camera, but I'm usually in too big of a hurry to get to work. I guess that makes these treasures all the more sweet!

Wetlands Preserve

2011-10-23T22:42:00.008-06:00

My brother's family was in town this weekend. Montana is just too far away and we don't get to see these cuties nearly enough! Oby and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and took the kids to the Wetlands Preserve. We had so much fun!

To get them to stay on the boardwalk, I told the kids there were electric eels in the swamp. Poor kids thought I was serious and were terrified whenever the weeds swayed in the breeze! And there was a cow mooing in the distance... Oby told them that's what Aunt Tara sounds like when she snores in her sleep. Um, not true, but everyone had a good ol' time mocking me whenever the cow mooed! There were lots of smiles and giggles on our little outing and I'm glad I caught some of them on camera....

Oh, Izzy was missing in the above pictures because she was at Grammy's house having a nap....

I just love these kiddos and wish we got to see more of them....

Nana's Boonanza

2011-10-23T21:34:00.006-06:00

I was SO sad to miss this year's party! I had an absessed tooth extracted the day before and was still super duper nauseaous. I was scared to leave Oby in charge of picture taking (not because he doesn't do a good job, but because he doesn't take as many pictures as I do). He captured quite a few, though. Normally I would have my way with them in Photoshop before posting them on the blog, but tonight I'm too tired, so here they are, in all their raw glory....

Chloe as a kitty
This is her 1st of 3 Halloween costumes this year :)

Nana and Papa as zombies! Eewww!

Spider Ice! Eewww!

Christopher, Ashle, Kylee & Sissy

Kitty & Puppy :)

Alien & Kitty

Yes, Oby's costume was thrown together at the last minute!

Chloe thought Papa's zombie get-up was hysterical!

The Taylor's

The Bennett Bunch

For those of you who missed the party this year because you choose to live in another state (you know who you are)... Try to make it next year, would ya? I promise to come even if I'm sick! ;)

Turkey Trot!

2011-10-17T21:06:00.002-06:00

The Turkey Trot is just around the corner!
It is a professionally timed 5k the Saturday before Thanksgiving!
Registration is $25 and includes a free t-shirt!
Pre-registration is available online here.
Come support us if you can!

It's Been Awhile

2011-10-15T15:00:00.003-06:00

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Weird. Not sure why the playlist isn't showing up on the blog, but it really does exist here. I was in serious need of some new tunes, so this mostly for me!

Chloe's Message

2011-10-14T23:20:00.008-06:00

October is disability awareness month.

I had been feeling guilty for letting half the month go by without addressing the topic. But every time I sat down to write my thoughts about it, I thought that I didn't want to bombard everyone with more disability awareness.... isn't my life one big disability awareness campaign stuck on repeat?!? I am awe-struck and astonished by everything I've learned from those with disabilities and the people who frequently interact with them. But I talk about it all the time -- on my three blogs, on facebook, in my interactions with everyone I meet! Do I really need to do a "special" post about it?

Then Chloe, as usual, inserted her wisdom and left me humble. We had a little heart-to-heart, non-verbal discussion. I didn't need to give my opinion yet again, but Chloe wants me to give her opinion on the subject. How do you disregard that type of call to action? Um, let me tell ya what -- you don't. And if you think I'm crazy, think again. This message is truly not my own.

So here goes, Chloe,... my attempt to do what you "told me" to do.

From Chloe's heart to your heart, please soak up this message...

See the beauty in everything
(including yourself)

Be kind to everyone
(including yourself)

I don't want to muddy up Chloe's simple message too much, but I do want to add just a couple of thoughts.

I have always and will always believe that Chloe willingly accepted a divine call to be on this earth with physical limitations. I believe in the wisdom of her old and beautiful soul that she knew she had a special song to sing that could only be heard when people's hearts were softened and humbled. It is a lovely song born of fragility and vulnerability that beckons each person who meets Chloe to appreciate and have joy in and gratitude for life, with all its disappointments, triumphs, peaks and valleys.... Because of her fragility and vulnerability that is so blatantly obvious, she is able to relay a message to other people that they may otherwise miss. Yet aren't we all fragile? Aren't we all vulnerable? Of course the answer is yes. So, then, aren't we all "disabled" in some way? Don't we all have "special needs"? In my opinion, the answer is still yes. So I believe "disability awareness" is a much more broad concept than we may initially realize. I think what Chloe is trying to tell us is that we are all different and we are all perfectly imperfect. Let's see those differences and celebrate them! Let's be authentic. Let's appreciate what makes each of us beautiful and unique!

Because of those imperfections that Chloe has reminded us to see the beauty in, we are going to stumble and fall on occasion. People are going to make mistakes -- both those who are closest to us and sometimes complete strangers. But we need to forgive them. We need to see deeper. We need to give unending love and kindness. I can solemnly swear this is what Chloe does no matter what. She is unrestrained in giving love. Every single person who meets her feels it. It is the most pure love I've ever encountered. Her love is not "earned" and she expects absolutely nothing in return. Because her physical state requires the help and understanding of others, she is inherently constantly beckoning others to be kind and give love as well. Because she is frequently physically ill, she is constantly begging us to strip away all the complications of life and stay home together, keep it simple, and just love each other!

Again, I don't mean to take away from the simplicity of her message. I just felt the need to let everyone know that Chloe doesn't only ask these things of us, but she truly lives up to the request as well. It is a privilege to be her voice and share her message. Thanks for being aware, not just this month, but always.

It Takes a Village

2011-10-14T22:48:00.005-06:00

The year is creeping to a close. I'm already in full Christmas-planning gear, which means gift lists. One of everyone's favorite gifts last year were the family videos I made of highlights from 2010. So I'm already getting started on preparations for the 2011 videos, so the project isn't as last-minute and stressful as it was last year!

Here are some pictures I've gotten from others to put in the videos that leave me a little perplexed. It makes me realize, especially since I'm working outside of the home right now, how much of a life Chloe has when I'm not around. She does activities, eats treats, has favorite toys, snuggles in different blankets, watches different shows, has unique nicknames, and probably many other things that I don't even know about! She's exposed to an entirely different world for at least 8 hours each day.

I am both sad and grateful for that.... I know that probably doesn't make sense, but that's how I feel. I'm sad that I don't know all those things and that I can't be there for all those things, but I'm overwhelmingly grateful that Chloe is exposed to others, is learning social skills, is learning to adapt to different situations, and feels love from SO many people. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I'm grateful and eternally endebted to our village. I think together we're doing a pretty good job in raising and creating such a beautiful and special person.

with Great Grandma Bennett

playing the piano in Nana's socks

at the zoo with Henry

kisses from Izzy

watching tv with cousins & Fiona

just being HAPPY!

Tradition

2011-10-03T23:15:00.005-06:00

It's a Bennett family tradition to go to a camping area by Pineview Dam on the first Sunday of October and listen to General Conference. Here's a recap of the outing in pictures....

Friends

2011-09-30T17:05:00.011-06:00

One of my favorite silver linings to being a special needs mom is the other special needs moms I have been able to meet that I otherwise never would have! I especially have a soft spot in my heart for the "kidz krew", other moms who help me out by posting on kidz. Not all of the kidz krew is from Utah, but some of us who do live in Utah have gotten together a couple of times recently, and it has been a real treat!

Jenny, Chrystal, Jennie, me!, and April at Gardner Village - yum!

Literally, it was a treat! ;)

April and her carrot cake

These beautiful women are such an example to me. I simply adore them all! Their positive attitudes and perseverence astonish and inspire me.

Jenny & Samantha

Chrystal & Hunter

Callie, Chloe & Samantha

Callie & Caitlin

Chloe, Samantha, Callie, Hunter & Caitlin

Don't let Chloe's face in the above pictures fool you. She was overjoyed to be with her friends!....

She was particularly enamored with Sammy. And I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual! :)

Cheers to all my special friends! Love you all!!!

Chloe & Jenny

Cousins

2011-09-30T16:58:00.004-06:00

The family got together the other night to celebrate Miss Madison's 1st Birthday! Madi lives in Vegas, so it was extra exciting to get to celebrate together!!!

Getting together with cousins to celebrate always means yummy dessert....

And silly dress-up, of course!

On the Radio

2011-09-29T11:50:00.002-06:00

KSL Newsradio, a Utah station, highlighted kidz on their show and website today. Check it out here!

I'm so proud of my little blog, it means so much to me!

Random Goodness

2011-09-18T22:10:00.005-06:00

My brother's family came to town for a couple of days last week. I can't even explain how much we love when they come. Chloe just loves her cousins!!!

Grammy and Papa love their kids...

Travis is a real ham for the camera, can you tell? ;)

Katrina is pregnant with #5 -- and we just found out it's a boy! SO exciting!!!

Just what we need, another BOY ;o)....

Chloe's all about the girls....

What Chloe is NOT all about lately is getting on the bus. Between the couple of months she had off school and the fact that I'm working from home right now, she is just really wanting to stay home. They say, though, that once she gets there she's her usual delightful self. That's good, but it doesn't make it any easier shipping her off when she has this face....

Here is my friend's dog, Oakley. He loves his Auntie T (that's me). Had to share his cute face. I'm always a sucker for cute dogs, but especially since Two Dot's passing, so this one's for me....

Last but not least, Oby and Izzy teach us a life lesson: When life hands you lemons, make funny faces with them!!!....

Cheers to another random but good week! =)

Goodbye, Good Friend

2011-09-18T14:11:00.005-06:00

The first time Oby took me to his parent's house when we were dating was the night of his sister's wedding. So no one was home except their dog, Two Dot. Oby mentioned there was a dog, then ran to use the restroom. So while I was sitting on the couch waiting for Oby, this relatively large dog comes into the room. Being a dog person, and a person who handled liability claims including dog bites, I thought she'd be a little hesitant meeting me this way, and I was a little hesitant about the situation myself. So I put my hand out for her to smell and "meet" me. She walked right over to me. She whisked past my hand, climbed up on me, and HUGGED me. She laid her head on my shoulder. And that was that, I've LOVED her every moment since.... even now that she is gone.

Reflection

2011-09-11T22:59:00.005-06:00

I know I'm not the only one who's been reflective today. My DVR is inundated with documentaries filled with sobering images and heroic stories that have pulled at my heartstrings and tugged at my memories from 10 years ago.

I am one who loves to reminisce and reflect on where I've been and the journey that has molded me. Today's anniversary prodded me to dig out some pictures from that time, one of which was this one. You'll notice the date was exactly 2 days before the events of 9/11....

This picture caught me off guard a bit. How could it be that a memory could feel like a million years ago and just yesterday all at the same time? I was visiting my cousin whose wife had just had a beautiful baby boy.

I was a single 23-year-old working and going to school. My life epitomized freedom and was filled with nothing but happiness and hope for a bright future! When I look in my eyes in that picture, I simultaneously envy and pity the person I was then -- so naive and so much to learn....

As I drove to work that fateful morning, I listened to the radio as I always did. They talked about how a plane had flown into one of the towers. I was particularly awe-struck by that because I had just vacationed in New York a few months prior and knew how massive and central they were. I was also dating a pilot at the time and knew to some degree all the rules and regulations that should have prevented something like this from happening. I could hardly pick my jaw up as I listened.

When they said a 2nd plane had flown into the other tower, and as it became more and more apparent that this was an obvious and intentional attack, my heart sank. I couldn't imagine the vast buildings being struck, not to mention the lives that had been and would be taken because of these acts. I so vividly remember being at the bottom and in between the two towers. They seemed massive and impenetrable. Yet the unthinkable had happened.

Before I knew it, I realized that as I listened and drove, I had driven right past my exit to get to work.... FOUR exits past it, as a matter of fact. I re-routed myself and headed to work -- again.

My co-workers and I gathered around a small TV in the break room and watched as news of other attacks were reported. All I remember thinking was, 'What are they going to do next?' I thought we were in a state of unending attacks and war. I remember so vividly a feeling of FEAR and I just wanted to be with the people I loved. Yet when our president encouraged us to turn to God, and it seemed that the nation as a whole DID turn to God, that fear slowly melted away.

Over the past few weeks, as I've watched documentaries about the harrowing events of that day, I've noticed a theme. People are stronger than they think and people overcome. In the face of adversity, the overriding spirit within most of us is courage and an indominable will to survive and help others survive as well.

Today's reflection has awakened that spirit in me to survive and thrive, to help others more, to overcome, and to have a greater appreciation for my loved ones and my freedoms. Although the events of that day were tragic indeed, the lessons learned are invaluable and I'm grateful.

Fair Ladies

2011-09-10T00:02:00.002-06:00

Oby took three of his favorite girls to the Utah State Fair....

Chloe, as you can see was a BIG fan of the animals....

Picking up on the sarcasm there? She was, however, a big fan of the huge pumpkins....

To make up for the trauma they caused by taking her around all the scary farm animals, Chloe got a snow cone the size of her head. She thought that was FAIR (ba-dong-ch)!

Back to School Bonanza

2011-09-09T23:12:00.007-06:00

Lots of people ask, "How does Chloe like school?"

I'll answer that with a photo because, as they say, a picture speaks a thousand words....

Did you get that? It's a resounding YES. Chloe LOVES school AND her teacher, Miss Meegan!....

I had big plans for the first day. An outfit was picked out. I even made a list of which photos I wanted to capture because she was going to be looking extra adorable because we were going to wake up early and have plenty of time before the bus time to pose for pix.... Well, that's what I thought anyway. Of course, the night before school started, Chloe didn't fall asleep until 6 a.m. You read it right, folks. It was a rough night. Oh, and did I mention it was the first day of my new job as well? Awesome.

Anyway, so her hair was a mess, there are no props or cute poses (not even a photo op by the bus because we missed it) and she can hardly hold her head up due to exhaustion, but I had to at least show you her cute outfit....

I was inspired by this cute idea and made Miss Meegan an ABC bouquet. It was a hit!....

I had good intentions of making this adorable wreath as well. I even bought all the stuff! Well, you know what they say about good intentions. For teacher appreciation week, maybe?....

The next night, I helped put on a back to school-themed evening for our Relief Society. It turned out so great! Here's a little peak at what we did....

Have I mentioned I went back to school as well? Yep, to finish my Master's in Healthcare Administration. Which is exactly why I'm blogging right now -- anything to avoid Statistics homework!!! ;)

Happy Trails

2011-09-09T21:51:00.006-06:00

For our "last hurrah" of the summer, we headed to the cabin and its many trails....

We love to cruise the mountain trails on 4-wheelers....

Anything to escape the dangers lurking at the cabin. Did you know my mom married an axe murderer?....

There are horse trails....

Sheep herding trails (did you know those still existed?!?!)....

Trails lined with wildflowers....

And trails leading to breath-taking views....

Sometimes we take a break from the trails and just relax....

As long as those trails lead me to these two, I'm a happy camper....

So long, summer!

A Day at the Park

2011-09-02T16:31:00.009-06:00

Chloe loves going to the park and being with people. So Tonio's birthday party, at the park with her cousins, made for a fun evening for little miss!

Tonio and Chloe are such sweet cousins:

Tonio was such a little guy when I married into the family. It's so strange to think he's becoming a nice young man. His favorite part of the party was playing football with the boys:

Every once in awhile as a parent with a child with limited mobility and special needs, little moments of grief sneak up when you least expect it. Like when I was having a delightful time at this family party, then looked over to see Chloe's cousins playing on the playground while Chloe sat on the sidelines. If I ever forget why I started the playground project, I need only look at this picture and remember the feelings I felt right then:

Happy Birthday, Tonio!
We love ya!

Here Ya Go!

2011-09-02T13:19:00.011-06:00

I've received 5 emails from people who follow this blog telling me to get to work and post some pictures of Chloe, for heaven's sake! I'm going to do that, but let me explain myself first! We've been having a wonderful summer, and taking lots of pictures, but our computer is having some issues and does not recognize our SD drive, so it's a major ordeal (well, not a MAJOR ordeal, but a slightly annoying task) to borrow another computer to transfer the photos to a disk drive and get them to our computer. I know, I know.... not that big of a deal, but when there's so much else to do, it really does seem like a big deal.

Okay, so here ya go - some pictures I downloaded from my camera. Not the greatest quality, but beggars can't be choosers! ;o)

Chloe is all about the nose-pickin' good times lately. Cracks me up! Here she is when she just woke up in the morning, just pickin' away! lol

Mirror Lake by the cabin with my parents:

Oby is coaching football at West High this year, just helping with stats and plays on Friday nights. His brother does it too, they get free football gear and then they "have" to go to the games every week, so it's a pretty good gig for them! Plus, there's good father-son bonding as well:

One day there were circumstances that meant Chloe had to come spend a couple hours with me at work. It was NOT a problem at all, she was a hard worker! Speaking of work, I'm starting NEW (and better) job next week. I'm so excited to be moving on to greener pastures!

I've been hanging out a lot with my concert-going soul sistah, Melissa. We are bordering on inseparable. We went to Adele last week. Next week we've got Willie Nelson on the docket -- cannot wait! Here we are on her birthday. I really do have a nose, people, but my phone camera somehow didn't pick it up! haha

Last - and least favorite - I was rear-ended this week. Not too big of a deal, no one was injured and the other driver has insurance. He really did slam me pretty hard, though, and don't lose respect for me, but I think I have whiplash! I never have back/neck pain and seldom get headaches, but all are stopping by a lot this week. I've got an appointment with a physiatrist next week, but I hope everything just resolves before then.

Little Bits of Good

2011-08-19T23:29:00.008-06:00

There are a few things I don't like about this video. Mainly my fatness and inability to NOT cry when talking about Chloe and/or her playground. Oh my gosh, I just HATE the part where I say, "Special needs children are awesome. {annoying sob}." Ugh. "Ya know?" UGH! ;O)

But my insecurities aside, it is definitely well done (Thank you, Thurgood Productions).

I also wish that more features of the playground were highlighted, especially all the sensory features and interactive play stations, the very cool climbing net (that happens to look like a beehive) and other climbing features, the teeter totter (that happens to look like a dragon fly) with a high-back seat, the extremely cool slides, the fact that each entry point has both a ramp and another entry option for able-bodied children (so the kids can play side-by-side), the shade structures, the arched/sunshine entry.... and let's not forget the Bigg-o swing (pretty much my favorite part)... Oh, I wish I could show all of you every single little detail! It is going to be wonderful!

But again, there are way more positives than negatives about the video. More than anything, I love all the support that is behind the scenes in the video.... You can't imagine how many hours and how many people went into making a 6-minute flick like this. It's humbling to know that people care and support my vision and I am forever grateful.

This is truly a never-ending project. Very seldom does a day go by that I don't get an email from someone with an idea or a donation or an offer to help.... And those daily reminders keep me going! We have enough to begin construction next spring and compelte the first phase, so we're continuing to pursue fund-raising with the final phase in mind. And I know we'll get there! The longer the project goes on, the more patience I get because truly this has been about the journey for me.... the relationships, the incredible people, just the sense of community and sincere compassion from the general public. There is SO much negative in the world, but there is even more good! I am in never-ending awe of the little bits of good that have touched my life because of this project.
Source

Sharing Sunshine

2011-08-14T21:49:00.005-06:00

I couldn't keep this to myself any longer.

Quite awhile ago (like 6 months people! I'm so behind!), an old friend gave this to us....

Her daughter, Abby, did a lemonade stand last fall, and she donated ALL her earnings to Chloe's Sunshine Playground.

Isn't that one of the sweetest things you've ever heard of? I leave the bag and note where I can frequently see it because it just brings a smile to my face and makes me want to be a better person!

I hope Abby feels the joy and warmth of having a charitable heart. At such a young age, it is extra impressive to me. Thank you, Abby!

Source

Freezer Meals

2011-08-13T13:01:00.010-06:00

I know I'm not the only one with a tight schedule. Between work, school, cleaning, working out, quality time with my sweeties, blogging, Pinterest, DVR clean-up, and all those other "important" things.... I've simply not had time (or made time) to cook meals! Which meant unhealthy, expensive stops at fast food joints just to keep us fed. Well, no more. I was inspired by Pinterest (nothing new!).... Low-cost freezer meals AND slow cooker freezer meals.

So Oby and I decided to give it a whirl. We picked out some of our favorite crock pot meals, made a grocery list and included freezer bags on the list. We made two weeks of meals -- lunch and dinner -- in just 2 hours, including clean up! Keep in mind, Chloe eats like a bird, so this is just 2 weeks of meals for 2 people. But we're still excited! I'm just going to get out a meal before I leave for work in the morning, pop it in the crock pot, then it will be ready for Oby and Chloe when they get home, and still simmering for me when I get home! Then there will be enough for leftovers for lunch and dinner the next day! We also cut up a lot of veggies from our garden, so they'll be prepared and fresh to go along with our meals! Looking in our freezer gives us so much sense of accomplishment!

I posted this pic on facebook and everyone asked for the recipes. So here ya go, folks!

We also made Coconut Chicken Curry from this site.

If you want more crock pot recipes, I've compiled quite a few on my recipe pin board HERE.

I think next time, I'll also try some casserole recipes or other recipes included on this site and may also try putting each recipe in two bags, just because I'm afraid with just Oby and I eating each meal, some might go to waste. This is most likely going to be a learn-as-we-go process, but I do think it's a good idea that will ultimately work for our family!

If you have any time-saving tips or yummy recipes to share, please let me know! I'm dedicated to making positive changes for myself and my family, so I appreciate any ideas!

***Update: Jen commented and recommended this book : Fix, Freeze, Feast. I already bought it for myself! Even more ideas for next time! Woo hoo! Thanks, Jen!

***Another update: Dinner is Ready is another book that has been recommended. Loving all these resources... Thanks, everyone!

*** I can't believe I forgot to mention the freezer meals recipe list on Our Best Bites. That site is just a great recipe resource all around.

Team Chloe

2011-08-07T20:48:00.008-06:00

The event was so great yesterday! It was an event for several charitable causes, and Chloe's Sunshine Playground was one of them. They had these signs for people to wear on their back if they were walking/running/riding for our cause. This was just so perfect -- SO Chloe!!!

Jodi was the coordinator of the event. She started doing "Ride the Brain Wave" event 5 years ago for her daughter who had a brain injury. She had so much support that she has wanted to "pay it forward" and help others' charitable causes as well as her daughter's each year. It just keeps getting bigger and bigger. She is amazing!

Three of the people Jodi has helped have passed away. Balloons were released in their memory.

Then the 5k began. It was such a spectacular event! There were competitive runners, walkers, and even people with brain injuries using walkers. Wow, it was just amazing. The route went on State Street in downtown Salt Lake, past the Salt Lake temple, then through Memory Grove and back. It was beautiful! I was so proud that my daughter was able to be a part of this. Chloe loved it too!!!

Right about the time that we got back from the 5k, a motorcycle rally began. Oby and my dad couldn't stop drooling over all the cool bikes and Chloe just loved the loud mufflers! It was so fun!

We saw this sign when we were walking around downtown, and I just thought it was fun. I solemnly swear to take the recess pledge.... do you?!?

As always, thank you to EVERYONE who coordinated and supported this event. It was amazing to see perfect strangers with Chloe signs pinned to their backs. It is so humbling to be a part of this project and to see the never-ending kindness of others. The world is filled with good people. It makes my heart happy and grateful.

A Reminder About Tomorrow's Event!

2011-08-05T10:23:00.004-06:00

Just a reminder that the big event for Chloe's Sunshine Playground is tomorrow at the Gallivan Center!
Everyone is invited so spread the word!!!

Avoid lines and pre-register online at childrenandtheearth.com for the 5k/$10 or the motorcycle ride/$30.
We know everyone's schedules are busy and budgets are tight, so we sincerely appreciate your support!!!

There are many additional activities going on as well,
and everything lasts all day from 7 am to 7 pm. Come any time!

-kids fair (face painting, princess dress ups, Bouncy House, Gamin
Trailer etc.)

-Tow mater will be there!

-The General Lee from the Dukes of Hazard will be there!

-Some very popular Mascots will be there!

-Food vendors!

-Shopping vendors!

-A drawing that will go throughout the day consisting of AWESOME
prizes!!

-And so much more!!

Here is a play by play of how the day will go.......

7am- 5K Registration

8:45- Releasing of balloons in memory of those who have passed away.

9am-5K Begins

9am-Registration for the Motorcycle Ride/Rally

10am-Motorcycle Ride leaves the Gallivan Center

11am-6ish- Live Music/Bands
> Taken Root
> Markham Sound
> Owen Country
> Jason David and Rima Clark
> Matthew and the hope

1pm-The Motorcycle ride returns back to the Gallivan Center

Custom Bike Show all Day put on by Coonyz Customs

This is such a great event, bring the family down and have some fun!
There is something for everyone!!

He Did It!

2011-08-01T00:30:00.004-06:00

Oby, as you all know from my constant bragging, is a sensational husband! He's handsome, patient, funny, kind, a hard worker, and just all around fabulous.

And now....

He's also a college graduate!

He didn't want me to make a big to-do about this milestone, like he knew I would do if he didn't stop me. It took some arm-twisting, but he finally agreed that we could go out for a celebration dinner with Chloe and our parents.

He chose to go to Spaghetti Factory, which is right by Pottery Barn Kids. It is physically impossible for me to walk past that store without going in and drooling over everything. Chloe especially liked their ice cream parlour!

If it were up to me, I'd have gotten Oby a Rolex or something equally fabulous for graduation, but on a budget I got what we could afford. Well, let me tell you what. Oby wouldn't have been as excited about a Rolex as he was about this survival bracelet I got from REI! If you need a gift for the man in your life, check out these survival straps. If your man is anything at all like Oby, he will love it. I swear, it is like Christmas morning every day since Oby got this thing. Totally cracks me up!

Congratulations, Oby! I am SO proud of you and love you for all you do!!! xo

Cabin Cuties

2011-07-31T23:17:00.015-06:00

We had so much fun going to the cabin with my parents and my brother's family. We don't get to see my brother's family nearly enough, so we treasure our time together!

Just being cute:

Scavenger Hunt:

Camp crafts (art & jersey-knit bracelets):

Hanging out with Papa & Grammy:

Eating (nom, nom, nom):

Picnicking at Mirror Lake:

and 4-wheeling!:

Pool Pals

2011-07-31T21:12:00.006-06:00

I recently started working four 10-hour days, so we use my Friday off to go swimming! Chloe just LOVES it -- and so do we!

Not only is it fun, but it's great exercise for Chloe too. Check out her head control!!!

Guess what else I've been loving lately -- my new camera bag from Cheeky Lime!!!!! SO cute, eh?!

A Mother's Love Never Dies

2011-07-19T20:48:00.011-06:00

I was recently able to witness one of the most sweet expressions of motherly love ~ and how that love surpasses even the grave. This story is so sweet and sacred, yet also too touching to keep to myself. So here we go.

My mom was born the baby of three children to Dora and Elvin Hansen. My mom was an unexpected surprise, as her two older siblings were in their teens when my mom came along. My grandmother had a difficult delivery and was left with a debilitating heart condition afterward. My mom only remembers her mother being bed-ridden. My grandmother knew she would not live long with this condition, but cherished the time she had with her baby Bonnie....

Put yourself in my grandmother's shoes. Imagine being bed-ridden and having a terminal condition, with a tiny daughter you know will live most of her life without you. What would you do? You would want her to remember you and the love you shared. You would want her to think of you every day. That's what she wanted, so she made tea towels for each day of the week. My mom remembers watching her mom do embroidery and needle point in bed....

Your heart would ache as you thought of your daughter's wedding you wouldn't be able to attend. But you would want her to have a gift from you that day, something to help her feel your love as she begins her new life.....

I think it's pretty safe to say that every mom wants her daughter to have lovely things, and my grandma was no exception. So she made nice table cloths, napkins, and pillow cases. That was something she could do to ensure her baby girl had a beautiful life....

Maybe, just maybe, she had a mother's intuition of the walk we'd take through the tulips....

She then hand-wrote my mom's name and pinned it on all the items she wanted to ensure would be given to my mom....

My grandma passed away in 1958, when my mom was 13-years-old, leaving a giant hole in my mom's heart and unfinished edges on many of her projects....

Unfortunately, all these lovely items that were made for my mom to enjoy through the years were not given to her as her mom expected them to be. They were stored away in a box that was transferred between her step-mom's basements through the years. I've been told my mom's step-mom was the quintessential "evil step mother". Because I never met her, I can't say for sure, but I do trust the people who have told me some horrific stories.

Then. Just two weeks ago. There was a community yard sale to raise funds for a little girl in our community who is battling leukemia. My cousin was there, helping as people dropped off goods to sort, price and display them. She was about to leave, but decided to help one last car that stopped by. She helped one woman unload her car with boxes that had been stored in her grandmother's basement for years. Suddenly my cousin recognized the woman as my mom's step-mother's granddaughter. Are you following? It's complicated, but stay with me because this is amazing stuff. So she recognized the person, then poured through the items and found this one box of heirlooms.

"Bonnie" was still pinned on each of the treasures!

My cousin immediately packed up the box and brought it to my mom's house! My mom had left for the weekend to go to the cabin and since we live next door, my cousin brought the box to Oby. When I got home from work that night, we dug in and inspected each piece thoroughly. I couldn't get over the detail. My heart ached for my grandma and the gamete of emotions she must have felt while making the pieces. My heart ached for my mom who had lived 53 years without her mom and without these beautiful gifts that were meant for her. But more than anything, my heart rejoiced. I kept thinking of the many miracles that brought these gifts to their rightful owner.... Had the community not gotten together to have a yard sale to help this little girl, had my cousin not gone to help at the yard sale, had she left one moment earlier, had the woman not decided to donate her grandmother's storage items...... who knows if the yard sale would have even gotten $1 for each of the sets! Yet they are SO priceless to my mom! The pieces were created because of countless hours of my grandmother's handiwork.....

I also believe the many miracles that brought those pieces back to my mom after SO many years were also part of my grandmother's handiwork from beyond the grave. This story has affirmed my faith that love never dies, that angels play monumental roles in our lives, and that a mother's love has more eternal influence than any other power on earth.

Oby and I took these cherished items out of the dirty, old peach box where they had been stored for so many years, then we transferred them to gift bags. We were able to deliver them to my mom the next morning at the cabin. It was such an emotional joy to watch her face as she slowly realized exactly what she was holding. Her hand glided over each stitch, her eyes stared in shock at the hand-written names lovingly pinned on top of each set..... I think she might still be in shock today that she finally has these beautiful gifts from her mom. Yet through her tears, what did she say?

"Who do I owe? I need to pay someone for this. I need to give money to the yard sale."

Oh, Mom. I will never be anywhere near as selfless a person as you are. I love you for that.

I want to publicly thank my cousin for being in the right place at the right time. I think this is another testament to the fact that blessings pour from heaven when we choose to serve others. This was truly one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, to get to see my tender-hearted mom get such a sacred gift. I'm not sure my words could ever do justice to this experience or to the depth of my gratitude, so I will just have to leave it at that.

Scenes From a Mountain Retreat....

2011-07-11T23:29:00.009-06:00

Last weekend we escaped to my family's cabin in the Uintas. Oby and I had fun playing with our new camera in such a pretty place. This new hobby makes me see things from a different perspective. I have a new found appreciation for the details.

I know I have a looong way to go in mastering my camera and photo editing, but I still really like how some of these turned out!...

Lot number 924

Our cabin is on Pineview Loop

We enter the cabin association through the yellow gate

Whitney is a scenic area by the cabin
where we often go 4-wheeling, fishing or snowmobiling

Christmas Meadows is just minutes from our cabin
It is such a beautiful little neck of the woods
and we visit there often!

Tree carving by Oby last summer
Oby + Tara + Chloe

The wildflowers are in full bloom right now! It is absolutely breathtaking....

Needless to say, it was really tough going back to work on Monday. (sigh)....

A Fabulous 4th!

2011-07-06T22:21:00.012-06:00

We went to Bear Lake for the 4th of July weekend. It is such a beautiful place. We loved to just sit and stare at the beautiful blue water!....

While looking fabulous, of course....

The only thing that made relaxing on a beachfront even better was having cold beverages in our hands....

We also just hung out being silly together!....

We went on walks....

to get some yummy food!....

There were games for the kids....

And of course we played in the water as well!....

Hooray for Bear Lake!!!

Happy 4th of July :)

5k & Motorcycle Rally Coming Up!

2011-07-05T16:42:00.003-06:00

Children and the Earth, a local 501(c)3 non-profit charity organization, announced today that their 3rd annual 5K walk – run – stroll, motorcycle ride and custom motorcycle show fundraiser for “Brain Injury Children” and 29 other kids and families. The event will be held on August 6th, 2011 at the Gallivan Center, 239 South Main in downtown Salt Lake City.

One of the recipients of this fundraiser is Chloe's Sunshine Playground. If you participate in the 5k or motorcycle rally, you can select who you would like to sponsor. If you select Chloe's Sunshine Playground, 100% of your donation will go toward helping this cause!

>>>Go here to register<<<

The day includes all the events mentioned above along with a Special Kids Fair, live music all throughout the day, retail vendors, great food and drinks, and much, much more. The day begins with sign-up and registration for the 5-K and motorcycle rally at 7:00 am, with both starting promptly at 9:00 A.M. The Kids Fair, music and vendors are scheduled to open immediately after the start of the 5K. Everyone is invited to come and spend the day in downtown SLC having as much fun as you can find, while helping the many children with “Brain Injuries” and other worthy causes. Also, tons of prizes will be given away throughout the day. The cost is only $10.00 per adult with kids under 10 admitted free.

Please come support us if you can!!!

Catching Up

2011-07-05T00:11:00.005-06:00

I've been a major blog slacker this week, but don't worry it's because I've been having FuN!!!

We went to see The Civil Wars in concert on the night of our anniversary. This was truly the best anniversary date I could ever have dreamed up! I had permagrin from the moment I stepped into my favorite Salt Lake venue, then the grin just widened when Rayland Baxter hit the stage. I am so sad that there is no decent version of The Mountain Song he sang that I could share with you or that I could put on replay for myself. Fortunately, though, I do have The Civil Wars songs on repeat and they all make me blissfully happy! Without question, the live version of Barton Hollow was my favorite part of the night, which shocked me because I don't usually prefer the mainstream songs - but WOW! It. Was. Amazing. THEY are amazing! The radio edit just does not do justice to the real deal -- nor do any youtube videos, unfortunately. Poison and Wine was another favorite performance. (That song was used for a SYTYCD routine last week, did you see it?!?) Oby really usually does not like going to concerts or anything like it, but he really likes The Civil Wars and surprisingly loved Rayland Baxter. So he was just a delightful date and I was so blissfully over the moon happy and in love! What better way to celebrate 5 years of marriage? I can't think of anything!

I'd do a more formal review of the concert, but it's already been done so eloquently here - no need to repeat, right? It has absolutely nothing to do with my being lazy.... ;)

Speaking of being lazy, we spent the rest of last week and this weekend sitting on the beach at Bear Lake. This was my song for that getaway (minus the dolphin impersonation, of course - hahaha!)....

Come and open up your folding chair next to me.
My feet are buried in the sand, and there's a breeze.
There's a shadow, you can't see my eyes.
And the [lake] is just a wetter version of the skies.

When we weren't lounging in our folding chairs, we were chilling on the Relaxation Station. I could go on and on and on about this thing, but let's just leave it at this - get one. You'll thank me later.

I just set my alarm for 6:30 a.m. Back to reality in the morning, I suppose. *sigh*

Expect pictures from our Bear Lake trip soon (delayed mainly because of SD driver malfunction -- any tips are appreciated!) We had so much fun, I can't wait to show it off!!!

I hope everyone else had a lovely holiday weekend as well :)

p.s. I know this post is ridiculously disjointed, repetitive, and grammatically incorrect, but I'm too tired to edit. Maybe tomorrow? haha yeah right.

High Five For My Obi-Wan

2011-06-28T00:01:00.001-06:00

In honor of today's five-year wedding anniversary, we are accepting virtual high fives!

I planned to write something about how Oby and I met for today's post. It was going to be adorable, quirky and fun, filled with lots of inside jokes and sweet memories. Ours is such a silly and charming love story ~ it's my favorite one, in fact.

I started and stopped writing the story a couple dozen times this week, but I've decided that, for now, the story belongs in the sacred places in my heart where only I can go. Yes, I'm selfish like that.

Just know that Oby truly and without question came into my life at the exact right time and was the perfectly imperfect person who I instantly knew was an ideal match for me. I knew I could and would always love, trust, and adore him. And he has always let me know that I am the only one for him as well. He tells me every day both in word and action.

I love my "Oby-Wan."

Here is a video I put together. This was something I thought I was doing for Oby, but it ended up to be a gift for myself. To dig back through pictures and relive some pretty special moments made me feel some of those same feelings. One of the most prevalent feelings I remember when I was dating and decided to marry Oby was peace. Even the day of our wedding, I remember so vividly being worried that I wasn't excited enough. Don't get me wrong, I was blissful! I was SO thrilled! But the overriding emotion was peace. I knew, unquestionably, that I was making the right decision to marry this man. And if I could go back today, I would still choose him.

Five Years from Tara Bennett on Vimeo.

Songs:

I Do by Colbie Caillat

Better Together by Jack Johnson

Let it be Me by Rosie Thomas

Many of my friends tell me I don't deserve Oby... everyone who knows the pair of us knows that he is the good one. He lives these words of wisdom, and I just try to be as good as him....

Marriage is not a noun;
it's a verb.
It isn't something you get.
It's something you do.
It's the way you love your partner
every day.

~Barbara de Angelis

I just had to throw in this picture because it's cute.....

Happy Anniversary, my sweet friend! I love you! I love us!

Arts Festival

2011-06-26T22:06:00.003-06:00

Chloe and I had a fantastic time at the arts festival!

I loved the yarn bombing, the record art and the acoustic stick performance. It was also fun to see the Forked Up Art guy because he donated one of his pieces for us to sell at an auction for the playground last year. (awww!)

Chloe loved everything in the urban art area.... the music, the people (boy was she flirting with the boys!), the lucky crystals, the grafitti art! I love when Chloe expresses her likes and dislikes, it's so fun to know that she has opinions and is passionate about life....

After parousing all the areas and booths, we (tried) to leave. But the elevator to where we were parked was broken and um, there was no way I was going to trust complete strangers to take Chloe in her chair down the steep stairs. So we opted to wait in the garden area for the maintenace guy to fix the elevator. This was a fun little detour!

Ultimately, the maintenace guy was taking too long and we had places to be, so I did trust the guys to take Chloe's CHAIR down those steep stairs. I carried HER. Safety first, folks!!! ;)

Head, Shoulders, Knees & Rainbows!

2011-06-26T20:59:00.004-06:00

Chloe has been learning the parts of the body, which was initially unknown to me. A couple months ago, we were driving in the car and I was playing some songs I thought Chloe might like. When "One Fine Face" by Ernie came on, I looked back to see if she did like it. What I saw was Chloe pointing to the parts of the face as Ernie sang about them! To say I was beaming with pride and joy would be a dramatic understatement! This continues to be a favorite song around here:

When I realized my little cutie patootie likes pointing to the parts of her body, I eagerly embraced the opportunity to let her show off for me - and often. This is now one of our favorite pastimes. The other day, we were exploring body parts, like her elbows, her belly button, etc. When I asked her where things were, she got them all right, so I kept going. I asked, "Chloe, where's your bum?" She moved her little hand and fingers down toward the bum-bum area. I thought she was going to point, but instead.... she farted. And giggled. Coincidence? I think not. I think this was just another one of those moments when Chloe shows us her adorable personality! 'Hmmm.... I could point OR I could fart! hee hee hee.' I tell ya what, I love my girl!

Utah has been in a seemingly unending state of Sprinter/Sumter (Spring-Winter/Summer-Winter), but for about one week, it's seemed like a real life, full-fledged summer! So Chloe and I went to get a pedicure in honor of flip flop season. When the lady doing our pedicure asked which color I wanted, I pulled out FIVE bottles of nail polish. She didn't speak the greatest English, so I think she thought I misunderstood. She repeated, "No.... which ONE color?"

Needless to say, I'm pretty sure she thought I was crazy when paid her good money to paint our toenails like this:

Colorful piggies!

Crazy? Maybe so. But those toes make me smile and giggle many times every day. So if looking like a childish num-nutz makes me happy, then so be it! I choose joy!

It's Not About the Diagnosis

2011-06-21T21:56:00.004-06:00

I had recently been feeling overwhelmed and victimized by Chloe's special needs. I was feeling a little bit like Chloe's diagnosis had stolen the life I had planned and completely taken over everything. I felt like everything I had ever wanted had been indefinitely delayed because of Chloe's developmental delays and I did not like feeling as though I had no control in my own life.

Well, I learned long ago that when I start to feel like a victim, I have to dig deep and find a way to become the victor instead.

In this case, I was stumped.... I felt defeated. But I didn't stop trying. I kept seeking a way to overcome these feelings. My answer finally came when I was looking for something to uplift a friend who is battling cancer. I found this print: What Cancer Cannot Do. Its message spoke to me.

Please don't misunderstand. I'm not trying to compare Cerebral Palsy to cancer. Cancer is undoubtedly a much different battle. But I believe the underlying message of that inspirational print works with any diagnosis. When I read it, the victim within me was quickly diminished by a new sense of empowerment.

Yes, Cerebral Palsy has changed things, but it has not won and it will not win. It has given Chloe disabilities that have affected our lives, but it has not and will not disable our ability to live a happy and fulfilling life. It has not and cannot take away anything that really matters!

In honor of this new-found sense of empowerment, I created this word art. It is nearly identical to the cancer print, so just know that I'm taking absolutely no creative credit for this.

It has been a gift to realize/remember that Chloe and our life is not about Cerebral Palsy; her diagnosis is so much more limited than I sometimes realize. It has been an important lesson for me to not give Cerebral Palsy so much credit and to give myself, Oby, our families, our loving Heavenly Father and especially Chloe much more credit.

Special Gifts

2011-06-21T20:57:00.006-06:00

Chloe had so much fun celebrating the main men in her life on Father's Day! She wore a cute shirt, just for the occasion that said, 'my heart belongs to dad.' This was actually her Valentine's Day shirt, but it worked perfectly for Father's Day as well! All together now.... "Awwwww....."

She surprised Oby with a picture collage for his desk at work and a unique bouquet of some of his favorite treats..... Dove dark chocolate squares were in the vase, then there was an arrangement of beef jerky sticks. I wish I would have gotten a better picture of the bouquet because it really was quite fantastic!

Her main gift was lots of love and snuggles. But it turned out to be a raw deal for me, Grammy and Nana, though! Chloe would NOT give the girls kisses that day.... She knew this was the day for the boys so she saved all her lovin' for them! It really was adorable that my non-verbal little girl was able to say, "Happy Father's Day!" in her very own special way by doing something she was able to do independently - reserving kisses. She really is such a sweet little smarty pants!

Thank you again to Oby and our dads for being such loving and wonderful fathers. We are lucky and very, very grateful. xo

Rad Dads

2011-06-18T23:25:00.006-06:00

I want to wish a Happy Father's Day to some pretty special men.

It's no secret.... Chloe's dad is rad. He has an impeccable mix of strength, humility and humor that makes him a very special father. Chloe absolutely adores her daddy-o....

My dad and Oby's dad are both wonderful examples of fatherhood for Oby to follow. Oby's first hero was his dad and my first love was my dad (and some things never change) They are our friends, yet we also respect and admire them immensely....

One thing I've recently come to appreciate in our dads is the fact that they've taught us to be passionate about life. Through their examples, we have both realized how important it is to spend time doing what you love. In fact, some of their passions have become our passions....

Yeah, they've always been pretty awesome at their job as dads. And when you're good at your job, you get promoted!

It should be NO surprise that they are also amazing grandfathers. Chloe lights up when she sees her Papas. It touches my heart....

Happy Father's Day to three of the most amazing men I have ever had the privilege of knowing and loving. Thank you for giving a love that is so simple and pure, yet so deep and profound....

Last but not least, thank you to our loving Heavenly Father for blessing us with, well, every single thing.

And... Cue Music

2011-06-16T22:20:00.005-06:00

Sorry, but I've been catching up on this season's So You Think You Can Dance and that's what Nigel says during all the try-outs. Speaking of SYTYCD, are you watching? If not, you should! WOW. I. Love. That. Show. And this season seems to be promising so far!

Onto the music.... Here is a new compilation - and a pretty fantastic one, if I do say so myself! I found new music from parousing VH1 Top 20, Odd Girl Out, Passionista's blog, Song of the Day blog, and from being a concert-going-groupie. I hope you enjoy this half as much as I know I will!!!

Since this is a music-related post, I'm going to do a quick review of concerts I've been to or will be going to this month....

The Head & The Heart opened for Iron & Wine. Can I just tell you -- they are both AMAZING! I already adored Iron & Wine, but Sam & his band exceeded expectations. Sam's voice is like buttah and I could have watched his drummer all night long! But as much as I loved Iron & Wine, I think I liked The Head & The Heart even more. Trust me, that shocks me more than it could ever shock you. Words just simply cannot explain and recorded music does NOT do justice to this band! Their voices, their musical skills, and their energy just filled up the entire venue. The crowd went wild for them. If you ever get the chance to see them live, take it!!!

I have loved and adored Brett Dennen's chill musical style and genius lyrics for years, and I just didn't think I could like him any more than I already did. Boy was I wrong! He was such a fun entertainer, an absolute joy to watch! He made the audience feel the lyrics. He is adorably humble, yet ridiculously talented. It was so much fun to see him!

The next concert coming up is Natasha Bedingfield. Although I appreciated her voice, I didn't really consider her music my style -- UNTIL the fateful day when I watched an acoustic concert on TV, something similar to VH1 Unplugged. Oh me oh my, she is a beautiful performer. Here's a little sneak peek at what I plan to see at her Less is More tour performance....

(p.s. I just love this song ~ it reminds me of Oby!)

The other concert we've got this month is Civil Wars. Usually I go to concerts with my friend Melissa, but Oby actually wanted to go with me to this one - he loves their music! Which is a good thing because I really, really wanted to see them and their concert falls on our 5-year anniversary!!! You have to check out these videos..... Their connection, harmony and unique dance between folk-rock and indie-pop is just my style! Oh I cannot wait! Also, I LOVE the venue where they're going to perform - it's going to amazing :)

In other entertainment news, have you seen the trailer for the new show that's coming out starring Zooey Deschanel? Holy bananas, I have watched this a couple dozen times and laugh hysterically each time! She is one of my absolute favorite people - I love her music, her acting, her quirky style.... I cannot wait for this show to start! Check it out and set your DVR!

Happy Birthday, Grammy!

2011-06-14T23:10:00.002-06:00

It's flag day, which means.....
It's also my mom's birthday!

She is exactly twice my age. Crazy.

We were excited to have an excuse to eat Oreo ice cream cake.
Yummy!

My mom is an amazing person with a charitable heart.
I hope she knows how grateful we are for her.
I think she knows how much Chloe adores her.
I pray she knows how much I love her.

Happy Birthday, Mom!
xo

Fun With Friends

2011-06-14T21:55:00.006-06:00

Chloe is lucky to have lots of good friends!

Party friends (Roller skating with Daddy at Jake's birthday party):

Snuggly friends (Hanging out with Ryan & Kendra):

Hiking friends (Silver Lake with Melissa):

and even furry friends:

Life really is better with friends!

Viva Las Vegas

2011-05-29T22:19:00.007-06:00

We've been having a fantastic weekend in Vegas visiting Oby's sister's family. They live here for Med School. Oh my, oh my, we have been enjoying the blue skies and sunshine -among other things - such as....

Swimming:

Hoover Dam touring:

Buffet-eating:

Dancing:

Sleeping:

Road Tripping:

And to think, we still have one more day of good times! Yay!

Happy Memorial Day!

Please Go For Me....

2011-05-25T22:53:00.005-06:00

Why is it that when you have something to do, you actually have 100+ things to do? That's my dilemma next weekend.... I already have tickets to a concert that I am super excited about, but there is also this FREE concert with two of my FAV artists: Meaghan Smith and Mindy Gledhill!

If YOU can go in my stead, please do! You'll thank me later, I promise. Did I mention it's free? Seriously! Go!

The "R" Word Hurts

2011-05-24T22:51:00.002-06:00

This PSA aired only a few hours ago, and already it has undergone significant scrutiny. The criticisms I've heard/read include that the slurs used at the beginning are outdated and/or too offensive to even be used. However, I think that is exactly the point.... those words ARE offensive and that's WHY they became a thing of the past. That's exactly the message the special needs community is trying to send about the R-word. It is offensive. It is not acceptable. It HAS to become a thing of the past.

I've asked people I interact with to stop using it when when I've heard them say it (usually in reference to themselves). I try not to lecture or act offended. I try to express that I know they didn't mean to offend and I understand that it's unfortunately a common saying. Then I go on to explain that since I've become Chloe's mom, I've come to understand what a cutting word it is and when used in jest, it is not funny but highly degrading. People always seem supportive and understanding when I bring it up, which is why it shocks me how often I hear them use it afterward. Do they forget? Do they think I'm being oversensitive? Do they just not care? Since I can't answer those questions definitively, I politely remind them again. And I will remind them again and again and again.... as many times as I have to.

Please join me in spreading the word....

Preschool Peeps

2011-05-20T23:27:00.005-06:00

Chloe's last day of her first year of school was this week. She just loves her teachers and the feeling is mutual! Because Chloe will be going back to this same class next school year, she didn't officially "graduate" preschool, but her teachers did give her a certificate of achievement for having the best laugh! So sweet :)

Chloe with Miss Megan, Miss Tonya & Miss Linsay

Chloe was SO excited that Grammy and Papa were able to come to meet her preschool peeps....

Chloe with Papa & Grammy

She did not stop smiling and squealing the entire time. I'm pretty sure if she could have talked and walked, she would have been dragging Grammy, Papa and I around by the hand showing us everything in her classroom and introducing us to all of her friends. She kept looking at us, then would look at a person, as if to say, 'Hey, did you see her? She is my friend and I'm so happy you get to meet her!' It was really heart-warming, actually.

Miss Chloe

Speaking of heart-warming, watch this video that one of her teachers made as a reflection of her class and the commencement of their school year. It is just SO sweet!....

Special Needs Preschool class from Tara Bennett on Vimeo.

Can't get enough? Then feel free to also watch this video of the class that meets after Chloe's class goes home. We are friends with quite a few of the kiddos in this class, so I had to share it too!

Preschool from Tara Bennett on Vimeo.

I want to publicly thank Miss Megan, Miss Tonya, all the other assistants and therapists who helped Chloe this school year. It was so frightening to send her to school and entrust her into the care of perfect strangers. But as the title of "stranger" melted away, and as I began to feel how much they loved Chloe and how fiercely they fought for her well-being and progress, any fear or apprehension was replaced with complete trust, respect and appreciation. I cannot explain the depth of my gratitude to know that she was in such great hands! I never worried about her for one second while she was in school. I never wondered if they were taking good care of her or giving her enough attention... I knew without a doubt that they were providing the best care and helping Chloe meet her potential in every way possible. It is an honor to know them and a humbling experience to allow them to help me prepare Chloe to be a confident little lady who will be ready to begin her elementary education. "Thank you" just doesn't seem enough, but I know the adoration Chloe has for them is all the thanks they need. So until next year, friends, THANK YOU!!!!!

Short But Sweet

2011-05-20T23:07:00.003-06:00

My brother's cute family lives in Montana. I'm not a fan of family living far away, yet somehow the majority of our siblings live out of state. BOO!

They were in town for just one night this week. Their visit was short but sweet. We love them!!!....

Isabella, Aspen, Aunt Katrina & Chloe

Wyatt found the stash of toy guns at Grammy's house. Watch out, world!!!!.....

A Big Girl, a Blustery Day & Beautiful Bows

2011-05-20T22:12:00.005-06:00

Is it just me, or is Chloe starting to look more and more like a big girl and less and less like a little toddler....

She has such a fun personality always, but has a particular fondness for the wind on her face. She is coming into her own and I think she is just lovely! Plus check out her improved head control!....

She is tall and slender with big blue eyes. Even when her hair is wind-blown, those curls are stunning. What a treasure!....

Do you know how much she loves to swing? I am so proud of the advocate she is for the playground. Oh my, have we made huge headway on the playground recently. I never know for sure how much I dare/can share on it, so I keep tight lipped. As soon as I get an official green light, good news is to come!

A neighbor told me recently that she is the neighborhood's mascot. I thought that was profoundly adorable.... good choice, neighborhood!....

By the way, isn't her bow beautiful? I saw a similar one on my niece and demanded my sister-in-law tell me where she got it. She said her sister-in-law, April, made them. I instantly ordered one in every color and I LOVE THEM ALL! If you want to order any, you can contact April on her Joia Flowerz facebook page (here) or by email (joiaflowerz@yahoo.com).

See that horse pasture in the background? We hope to be galloping there soon.... If Utah decides to ever let the sun shine, that is!!! ;)

This Week's Music in Review

2011-05-15T16:16:00.005-06:00

Before I get to the playlist, I have to do a quick review of the live concert I went to last week: Joe Purdy, opened by The Milk Carton Kids.... SO fun! SO incredible! My friend and I were literally FRONT and CENTER. I felt like a total groupie, but well, I guess I sort of am a groupie! Joe Purdy and Milk Carton Kids played together for several songs and it was a total Mumford and Sons vibe -- they rocked (watch this video if you want a taste)! Joe played the song I wanted him to play (Can't Get it Right Today), but didn't play the song Melissa wanted him to play. Well, when he came back for the encore, we were close enough that Melissa literally just asked him to play her song and he said, "Okay." We. Seriously. Flipped! This version of the song doesn't even begin to compare to the song in person. The lyrics as they relate to my friend and so many of the ridiculously hard things she's been through..... sheesh, you guys, we were in tears. It was amazing! He sang right to her, then afterward held his guitar out toward her, as if pointing and saying 'That was for you.' Sigh, it was one of those moments where I had to pinch myself! I was kicking myself that my phone battery was dead so I couldn't record the video. Sniff, well this will have to do....

Some of the stunning lyrics:

you wish things were different
the hand you were given
just don't seem fair
yah you playin' with what you given
and you're doing fine
ya but you try not to think about it
most of the time
you just do what you have to
to make sure you get through
yah but sometimes it hurts

yah well you're still so young
but you feel so old
it's just the things you been through
that are making you cold

listen i can't fight your demons
cause i'd have to fight you
cause there so far inside you
and i just cant seem to get through
it ain't none of my business
it ain't none of my place
yah but i still had to try

oh now i think i've lost you
can't reach you no more
cause you're high as i kite
and i'm down here on the floor
yah i'm begging you to come back
now you cant even hear that
you just floated away

Okay, so now to this week's playlist. Most new-to-me artists were found through Brite Revolution (love - check it out!) and miscellaneous TV show soundtracks, friend recommendations, etc, etc. I hope you enjoy it!

I've also uploaded some actual mp3's that you can listen to for free HERE. Check out my previous playlists and favorite tunes as well!

Concert this week: William Fitzsimmons! SQUEAL!!!!!

We Believe in You

2011-05-14T21:31:00.006-06:00

Today was Chloe's dance recital. Here she is with her special needs dance class performing their Beauty and the Beast number ....

And here is the entire dance company....

Chloe's class got one of the only standing ovations out of all 30+ performances. The other standing ovation happened when the dance directors were publicly thanked by Chloe's class for providing their instruction and time for FREE.

I thought about that quite a bit.... How we were at a talent show of sorts, yet the thing that brought people to their feet wasn't about talent at all.... It was about overcoming, believing, loving and serving.

As proud as I was of Chloe today, I was even more proud of Oby. Wow, is he a special dad to have taken Chloe to all of her classes and to be her shadow. I am blessed SO MUCH MORE than I deserve!

I overheard someone talking to Oby about that today, how special it was that he would do this for Chloe. He said, "Well, she smiles when she's at dance class, so anything I can do to make her smile, I'll do it. As long as she keeps smiling when we dance, then we'll keep dancing."

*sigh* See what I mean? He's amazing. I don't think he gets enough credit, but I hope he knows how much I love and appreciate him and all he does for Chloe and for me.

I thought even more today about why we take Chloe to dance and we she was performing today... Oby was the one doing every single move for her. But like Oby said, she was smiling.... Oh boy, was she smiling! She truly glistened on that stage!!!

But more than the fact that Chloe likes dancing, the music, and being with friends, I think we do this so she knows she can do anything.... that there are no "can'ts" for her because WE BELIEVE IN HER. Me, Oby, her dance teachers, her grandparents, every person who knows her, all those people who gave that class a standing ovation..... WE believe in her.

We Believe in You by Bess Rogers From Tara Bennett

on Vimeo.

Look around
The world is at your feet
And isn't it sweet
To know that it's true

Look around
There's nothing you can't do
And if you wanted to
You could reach the stars

Cause we believe
In you

Look inside
At who you are
Who you are to be
Is it far

And if you fall
It won't hurt at all
You stand up tall
Know it in your heart

That we believe
In you

Cause we believe
In you

I hope every single one of those girls feels the support and love of everyone around them, believing in THEM and their BRIGHT futures! They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it takes a special village to raise a special needs child. I'm so grateful for my special village. THANK YOU from a mama with a very full heart!

If the Shoe Fits....

2011-05-13T22:35:00.002-06:00

I remember when Chloe was just an infant in my arms, I would talk to her and tell her all about my wishes for her to have a beautiful life. I would look into her eyes and wonder what they would see and how they would see. I traced her lips and wondered what wonderful words of wisdom she would share with me. I touched her hands and imagined what those hands may hold and how they may touch the lives of others. And I would squeeze her sweet feet and wonder where those little feet would take her.

We've been on quite a journey in just a few short years, her eyes and lips, her hands and feet.... Oh how disappointed I once felt and how surprised I've been almost every day to see how a seemingly "broken" body could see and speak and touch and go so many unexpected places!

If you had told me three years ago that Chloe's little feet would one day be in ballet shoes ready to hit the stage for a dance recital, I would have either laughed, cried or just been angry. I thought that was not to be for my Chloe and her little feet.

How wrong I would have been....

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think the directors of the dance company may have had Chloe in mind when they came up with the theme of the recital:

"If the shoe fits, DANCE."

She participated in two routines and even had a costume change!

She and the other six girls on her dance team each had a "shadow" to help them onto the stage and help them with whatever moves they may not have been able to accomplish on their own. Chloe was lucky enough to get a handsome shadow!

They performed with about 12 other dance teams in a fairly large venue. I'm sure when Chloe wheeled onto that stage, all the other parents in the audience probably felt pangs of sorrow that Chloe was in a wheelchair. It didn't take her long at all to show them that there is SO MUCH MORE TO HER than that chair or her disabilities, and so much more to all the other girls than their walkers, braces, spastic limbs and other disabilities. Chloe was all smiles and seemed to soak the spotlight into her skin... she radiated and sparkled! By the time the first number was done, there was not a dry eye in the audience and they gave a standing ovation. That was one of those moments in time that seemed to stand still, when every single thing that had ever happened into my life was just a building block to get me to be able to experience the feelings I had right then.... the pride, the joy, the love, the excitement for a bright future with Chloe and my handsome hubby. It was perfection.

There is a 2nd performance tomorrow, so stay tuned for more pictures and video that is sure to bring a smile to your face!

Birthday Babble

2011-05-13T22:17:00.006-06:00

A few pix from Chloe's actual birthday.

Teddy wearing Chloe's Better Than Normal birthday crown!

Papa sang Happy Birthday to little miss. She is under-reacting here. Usually she kicks and squeals up a storm when Papa plays the guitar and sings for her. Since when is this little ham camera shy!?!?!....

We saved the Sprinklebelle cake to eat on her birthday.
That was so selfish of us -- it was truly delicious!
And I really, really need to work on my photography skills....
um, the giraffe on the high chair wasn't meant to be in primary focus! haha

Aside from really cute swimming suits and sandals,
Chloe's birthday present was meant to be a tablet (iPad-like).
We got one, but the touch screen was SO not user friendly,
which obviously won't work for Chloe.
We're still on the look-out for the right product, and I may have to give in
on my anti-Apple snobbery and get an iPad after all.
In addition, I made this wall display with prints I found on Pinterest
sprinkled with cute pictures of Chloe
hung on laundry twine that I got at the dollar store
with colorful paper clips!
It turned out really adorable for the large blank wall that was in her room.
And she really loves looking at it!
I like reading the messages because they are all inspiring/motivational
and very Chloe-like....

Sigh.... I cannot believe she's 4. How does life pass so quickly?....

Chloe's Birthday Party: Four Years Go By in a Flash

2011-05-08T22:26:00.011-06:00

I was going to try to keep Chloe's birthday party simple this year. Just a small family affair. I would have been fine if it had just been the three of us, I wanted it to be small.

Well, that was before I saw this idea on Elle Belle Creative: a birthday party theme of the years going by in a flash.... picture garlands, photo booth & photo props? How could I say no to that? It was just too gosh darn cute to resist! Enter pinterest with ideas galore and this was the result:

Sweet treats galore
Not pictured: many more treats from Chloe's grandmas
And six over-stuffed scrapbooks filled with pictures and pages of Chloe's four years

"Four Years Go By in a Flash"
I wish I had gotten better pictures of the picture garlands,
they were really quite adorable!

Chloe just loved all the attention
and looked stunning in her red party dress!

This cake by Jill of Sprinklebelle Cakes
was easily my favorite part of the entire party!
SO SO SO cute, dontcha think?

Overview from the stage

Photo booth free printable props from craftzee

Chloe with her Better Than Normal felt crown

First time meeting blog friend (now "real" friend!) Shannon & Dylan awwww, love them!

Ava had a quick crush on Oby - so cute!/pretty little Ella

Dad singing Happy Birthday/Cute Carter

Chloe meeting "Aunt Melissa"

Melissa is a friend I recently made through work Gosh, I love her!

Birthday girl with Izzy/The lovely Erin & her adorable family

Dad/Oby & Dallas

The Bennett Bunch & The Love Ladies

Nana & Papa

"Who farted?" Max & Grandma Judy

Our friends, the Drecksels

me with pal Amy

Max & Aunt Holly/Shannon & her cute little monkies

Uncle Matt with Jake & Sally

Aunt Sissy/Grandma & Grandpa Bennett

Chloe's birthday is actually tomorrow, so we will have another small celebration for that. I truly cannot believe Chloe is 4-years-old. Wow.... What a privilege motherhood has been!

Hmmmm.... what to do for the fifth year? I actually already have an idea and if I follow through on it, I really do need to get started on the planning and preparations!

Motherhood

2011-05-08T20:44:00.003-06:00

Hopefully this pic doesn't show how Chloe really feels about me!
lol!

Grammy reading Chloe "My Little Princess"
(a recordable storybook from Hallmark available here)

Nana & Chloe

Three generations on Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you mamas out there! xo

Sneak Peek

2011-05-07T16:21:00.002-06:00