Flashback Friday: Don & Philly

It's been awhile, but I think it's time we start flashin' back again. I loooove going down memory lane!



Today's flashback has nothing to do with me. Unless you count the fact that I like Dancing With the Stars. (Notice I said I like it, don't love it, just like it.)

This flashback is a photo of Oby's Grandpa Phil with Donny Osmond.

That's right, I'm droppin' names. Donny. Osmond.

And not the has-been Donny of today, but the 70's star Donny Osmond of yesteryear....


Apparently Grandpa was working on a construction site for the Osmond Center (I think) in 1979. Donny would come to the site most days to check it out. Grandpa called Donny, "Don." Donny would correct him and say, "Actually, I go by Donny." This gave Grandpa ALL the more reason to call him Don. So Don called him "Philly."

This photo is also bittersweet for anyone who knows much about Grandpa Phil. He has a condition called Ataxia that causes his body to deteriorate. It's good to remember him standing and healthy, but it's sad to know the freedom that has been robbed from him. But if you ask Grandpa Phil how he's doing, he'll say, "Never better!" every single time.

I love Grandpa Phil.

The Dentist

Today was Chloe's first trip to the dentist. Wow, did she do great!

First she was impressed with the bright light, the television on the ceiling, and the fact that about four people's undivided attention was on her.


They started by showing her how the toothbrush worked on her finger. This made her giggle. I guess it tickled :)

She was very cooperative when they asked her to "eeeeeeee".....


And even when she was "aaaaaahhhhh"-ing, she would send me smiles....


They took an xray of her mouth....


The x-ray confirmed that her adult tooth was not damaged in "the incident" and it didn't appear that any other teeth had any nerve damage either. {{Raisin' the roof!}}

A Special Christmas List

Dear Santa,

Mom says I have been a good girl and I'm hoping you agree with her! I've come up with a list of things that you and the elves might consider....

Normal shoes just do not stay on my feet. My feet are special like me and fall forward. So even though Mom & Dad buy shoes and boots for me, Mom always ends up carrying them because they fall off my feet so easily. I'm thinking these posh slipper socks from Nordstrom will help keep my feet warm this winter....


Santa, would you talk to the elves and see if they could whip up some of these teachable touchable texture squares? Just because I don't walk and play and hold toys doesn't mean I don't need sensory input. In fact, it means I need it even more. Mom and I think these textured square 'bean bag' things would be fab!....


Santa, I want and need these P's & Q's chewy tubes. All my other special friends have them and rave about them. Mom tells me they will help me with oral motor skills and sensory integration. I don't even know what that means, Santa, but please bring me some P's and Q's. Pretty please!...


Santa, I really could care less about plain white onesies underneath all my posh outfits, but Mom really likes them. She tells me they help me keep warm, and since I'm always lying down or in a chair, my shirts frequently ride up, and I guess Mom likes to keep me looking modest, so some new onesies are in order. I'm not a little baby like I used to be, and the stores don't carry my size, so you'll have to either have the elves sew some, or you could order them from essentialwhites.com. It's up to you, S-Man!....



And since reading books is my favorite thing in the world, it only makes sense that I'd like a book or two. Here are a few Mom thinks I might like.

Some classics:




Fancy Nancy's new holiday book. I just love Fancy Nancy!....



And some special books that seem to have been written JUST for ME!....



Five little girls with cerebral palsy and other physical disabilities share the dream of becoming ballerinas. With their powerful determination and the help of several committed teachers, these little girls get the chance to realize their dreams. A true story illustrated with beautiful photographs taken by James Estrin, the book follows five real little girls named Abbey, Monica, Nicole, Shekinah, and Veronica from ballet class to recital, where they show that working hard has helped them to become ballerinas in spite of their physical disabilities. The technical ballet terms and detailed descriptions of what the girls do in practice and performance are sure to please any child who loves ballet, while remaining appropriate for young readers. The plentiful photographs capture the personalities of the girls, making it possible for even a very young child to follow. This touching story would be a useful resource in an early childhood educational setting as an example of individuals with different abilities or disabilities, and its message of determination in the face of adversity is one that parents and educators of children of all ages would find useful.



Told in rhyme, this story follows Susan through a series of familiar activities. She swims with her father, works hard in school, plays with her friends -- and even rides a horse. Lively, thoughtfully drawn illustrations reveal a portrait of a busy, happy little girl with whom younger readers will identify. Not until the end of the story is it revealed that Susan uses a wheelchair. Told with insight, and without sentimentality, here is an inspiring look at one spunky little girl whose physical disability is never seen as a handicap.


Well I think that should give plenty for you and the elves to think about. I hope you have plenty of hot chocolate in the North Pole to keep you warm! We'll be seeing you on Christmas Eve, and there will be cookies -- of course!

Lots o' loves & kisses,

Chlo-Chlo :)

p.s. Santa, this is now Chloe's mom. I just wanted to let you know that we already got all these items for Chloe, er uh if you'll check your Santa bag, I'm sure you'll see that all the items are already in there, except for the books. So if Chloe's Grammy or Nana, oh I mean you and the elves, want any more suggestions for what to get this little angel of mine, you might want to think about those books. :)

I Wish These Came in Chloe's Size

Heck, I wish they came in my size!

Chloe has pretty much lived in Mary Jane socks since she was born. Since she doesn't walk, and kicks off regular shoes with great ease, the socks worked perfectly for us! But now she has grown out of their largest size, and I am sad. I've been searching for some that are bigger than 24 months, and came across these, made by the same company as the mary jane socks, Trumpette. They only come in infant/toddler sizes as well, but I still had too oooh and aaah over them, and share them with you all.

These are baby mocs....



These are Andy Tracks:


Holy crap, are they not the cutest things ever!?!?! If you have a girl newborn-24 months, you have to get those for her so I can live vicariously through you.

Visit Trumpette for more cute stuff.

Sleeping is Good!

I've had several requests from family, friends and followers wanting to know how our "cry it out" method of sleeping has been working.

I've been waiting to post about it until I could find the words to properly express my feelings, but I can't find a way to fully get my emotions into words, so I'm just gonna go for it and hope you get my point.

"Ferberizing" Chloe, or making her "cry it out" at night has changed my life. In a good way.

Don't get me wrong, it was hard. Very hard. The first night she cried pretty much the entire time. I was physically ill, it just felt so unnatural as a mother not to see to my crying child.

But surprisingly I did sleep better than I had in a long time. I think it was because so many doctors had to explained to me all the things that were NOT wrong with Chloe. The only logical explanation left (aside from reflux, which she is being treated for) is that she has behavioral issues associated with sleep. So because I want Chloe to have confidence and an ability to know that she is capable of taking care of some things on her own, I was somehow able to block out the cries and get some zzzz's.

The morning after the first night, Chloe was MAD at me. I think it was the first time she had ever been so completely angry at anyone. She wouldn't even look at me. But we went to visit my mom, and she was able to vent. It really was so funny. She just went on and on in her own little Chloe language, telling my mom all about how she cried and cried and I didn't come to her rescue. But my mom explained to her that she was okay and she needs to sleep alone in her own bed at night, and everyone needs to get sleep so we can take care of each other and have fun during the day. After her little heart-to-heart with my mom, she seemed to quickly forgive (isn't that so Chloe *sigh*), and we all moved on.

Almost every night since then, she has awoken only once or twice, cried for anywhere from 5-30 minutes, with infrequent check-ins from me, then soothed herself back to sleep.

We have been getting 6-8 hours of good sleep every night.




Just typing that brings a lump to my throat because I am so grateful. Thankful beyond words. Until these past couple of years without sleep, I never appreciated it enough. It is crucial to a healthy life that you get good nights of sleep.

Every once in awhile, if she cries, it gets to me. It just tugs at my heart and I want to run and rescue her. I have had a few moments when I have to just curl up in the fetal position and will myself to keep away from her, my logical self assuring my emotional self that this is for the best. Those moments of heartache usually pass quickly because I'm able to remember how much this has changed my life.

"Changed my life." Seems a bit dramatic, but let me tell you what. I mean it 100%.

We have a better routine. I feel like the sky is the limit with every single day. I still don't get everything done that I usually want to get done, but I am much more productive than I have been in over two years.

Do you know what that feels like?

AMAZING!

It has been a bit of an awakening for me. Funny that getting sleep would cause an awakening? But seriously, I just feel like all limits and restrictions that I put on Chloe and I before have been removed. It has been very good for my physical and emotional health.

This has been so good for Chloe, as well. I do feel that she is maturing because of this. She is less likely to cry if I'm not holding her every second. I think her ability to self-soothe has translated into a greater ability to also self-entertain. She is much more apt to watch television. Hey, three minutes of attention on the TV is a lot more than zero seconds.

I am so grateful that we decided to implement the Ferber/cry-it-out method. For anyone considering it, go for it. My only regret is that we didn't do it sooner.

Musical Monday

Here are a couple videos I've come across recently that I just love.

First let me say: I LOVE Bright Eyes. Aren't they just the best? *sigh* Yes, yes they are (the best). Their sound is whimsical. This song and video are kind of different, which can be good and bad. In this case, different is good. No incredible. Also please pay attention to the lyrics because they are simply lovely. Truly, some of my favorite lyrics EVER (and that's really saying something).



PLEASE, do it for yourself, take a second to read the lyrics.

The rain, it started tapping on the window near my bed. There was a loophole in my dreaming,
so I got out of it. And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open.
Just my nightstand and my dresser where those nightmares had just been.
So I dressed myself and left then, out into the gray streets.
But everything seemed different and completely new to me.
The sky, the trees, houses, buildings, even my own body.
And each person I encountered, I couldn't wait to meet.
I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health.
I said "{I am terribly sorry but} there is nothing I can do for you
{that} you can't do for yourself."
He said "Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help."
So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt.
He said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure.
Thank you Stranger, for your therapeutic smile."
So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone.
And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow.
But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself.
It is best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or simple song of hope.
That is why I'm singing...
Baby don't worry cause now I got your back. And every time you feel like crying,
I'm gonna try and make you laugh. And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad,
then we will wait for it to pass and I will keep you company
through those days so long and black.
And we'll keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve
Of Love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole.
But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall.
Then I think we would see the beauty.
Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges,
like a story told by the fault lines and the soil.

I know, right? Some of the most beautiful words ever written.

Next up, I'm Alive by Kenny & Dave (we're on a first-name basis).... C'mon if you don't like this song and these artists, then I am sad for you. Dave's voice makes me melt like butta! Jus' sayin'.




This next video requires no commentary. It's just plain good. The instruments and singing rock, plus if world peace is on your Christmas list, this video might give you some warm fuzzies. :)



Want more musical monday? Visit Diane's blog!

White Trash

Today I had another epiphany.

This was not a good one.

We are white trash.

Since we moved, family functions and bad nights/lazy mornings have caused us to miss church most weeks, so we're still very "new" to everyone. Except Oby who is best friends with all the guys because he never misses out on church sports. And it's funny that I don't know hardly anyone considering this is the very ward I grew up in, but this darn city has grown so much in the past decade, it's hard to keep track of the next door neighbors!....

Whoops, getting off the subject. I do that a lot.

So anyway, this morning we made it to church, and a guy came up to meet us. He was asking where we lived, and we described the location, the recent remodel, but what he identified was,

"Oh, you're the goat people!"

I'm not sure there is a lower class of people than that. The goat people. Hmph!

Then later in the afternoon, we were going next door to see my parents. Oby was in his "lazy clothes" aka workout shorts and a t-shirt, which is fine. But then I realized that he didn't have shoes on! Yes, it snowed yesterday and is very cold. But he wasn't wearing shoes! And, hello, have you seen his feet? Talk about snaggle toes!

And do I really need to bring up the fact that Chloe has snaggle teeth?

Then what do we do with our night? You guessed it. Played poker (I was the proud winner, by the way), watched Nascar and hunting shows while Oby flipped through a Cabella's catalog.

Okay, I made up the Nascar, hunting shows & Cabella's aspects for dramatic effect, but just because we didn't do that today doesn't mean we don't do that stuff. We do!

Don't try to deny it, you know it's true. We're white trash all the way.

p.s. I didn't lie about beating everyone in poker. I rock like that.

That's right. I may be white trash, but I rock.

Fix You

Today I had an epiphany.

I was getting Chloe in her car seat to take her to therapy.

She does this thing where she puts her arm in my way so I can't do what I'm trying to do and she giggles. She thinks she is sooooo funny.

She is very much like her daddy in that way.

I said to her, "Chloe, you have to let me get you buckled up. We need to get to therapy. I'm gonna get you fixed!"

When I said that, we had a moment. We've had these moments before. Now, please don't think I'm crazy, but.... I have the gift of tongues, in a sense, with Chloe. Even though she's non-verbal, sometimes she speaks to me.

It's probable that only other parents of non-verbal children will completely understand how real this is or believe it is even possible. It's like her soul speaks to my soul. It is not English, it is not body language, it is not another unstudied language, it is real soul-to-soul communication.

She spoke to me in that moment. First she laughed, a deep laugh from her gut. Then she said, "YOU think you're going to fix ME? That is funny!"

And I realized and remembered what I've learned before. She is perfect as she is. I am the one who needs to be repaired. Deep within my soul I need to remember what truly matters. Chloe's earthly mission is to help others. Sometimes I get full of myself and think I'm helping her, but in every single way she is helping me. Fixing me. Refining my soul.

Thank you, Chloe, for the life lesson :)

Cutest Wrestling Match Ever!

Today after a doctor's appointment, Chloe and I stopped by to visit Nana and the Norseth's. Henry and Chloe started having a wrestling match. Have you ever seen such chivalry in a wrestling match....

They were having so much fun, and Nana never wants to miss out on any fun, so she joined in....

Poor Chloe is hardly loved at all (yeah right!)....

Chloe's All-Terrain Chair and My All-Time Favorite Smile

We are so blessed. Truly.

Last night Oby came home from work with a pink, all-terrain special needs stroller, that was given to us by his co-worker. It is in PERFECT shape. It was used for their special needs daughter from age 10-24. I can see why. It is huge. Look how tiny (and cute!) Chloe looks in it!....



(For anyone interested, it's from The Baby Jogger Co. and is the Special Needs III-16).

The update on Chloe's tooth is that it is growing on me. No, it's more than that, actually. I love it. I know that sounds strange. It's not a perfect smile like it used to be, and it's my fault, and it should be a constant reminder to me of my imperfections as a mother. BUT when she smiles so big and her tooth is missing, it actually just makes me feel SO lucky to be her mother. She is so forgiving and happy and loves me, even though I'm imperfect.

It's actually her imperfections that make me realize how truly perfect she is in the eyes of the Lord..... All the attributes that really matter -- she's got 'em.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
(2nd Corinthians 12:9)

I feel so privileged to be her mother.