Appreciation

Ya know, now that I think about it, I really cannot remember how I came across this story or got in contact with the creator of this movie, but....

Somehow I ended up being invited by the creator of the movie, I Am Not My Body, to attend the documentary's premiere. It is a story about this special young man, Marius:


The story's beginnings are devastatingly sad, starting with poverty, severe abuse, and a house fire that took both Marius' parents, and nearly cost Marius his life. The middle of the story is bedazzled with miracles that ultimately brought Marius to the United States where he receives proper medical care, and is thriving on love from his adoptive family. There are so many lovely details, and you really should find them out by clicking here. Well, even that is only part of the story, but it will still give you a pretty good idea.

The story made me appreciate where I live, how close I am to good medical care, what a loving family I have and have always had, and the miracle of having a healthy body. Oh my, we take our bodies for granted! This morning I watched Chloe struggle to simply hold her head up so she could blow Grammy and Papa a kiss.... she struggles through so much! BUT she doesn't suffer -- how amazing is that. She doesn't allow herself to suffer through the struggle. What an incredible girl! It was likely one small infection that reached her brain during the very early parts of her development in utero that caused this lifelong condition. It's sad, yes, but it's also a wonder, don't you think, how MANY babies are born without problems like that? Honestly, if there is a person out there who believes that miracles have ceased, then I would like to take that person to any hospital nursery anywhere in the world, and look at all the beautiful babies. So many cells and chromosomes and other microscopic pieces of anatomy had to come together in such perfect form to create the miracle that is the human body. Even Chloe's body -- it is so beautiful and perfect. Our bodies are miraculous!

BUT as amazing as our bodies are, and as much as I appreciate my good health, I have come to understand the message of Marius' movie, that there is so much MORE to all of us than our bodies! Chloe teaches me this lesson every single day when she "speaks" to me without a voice, and when she seems to move mountains and stir hearts even though she can't use her legs or her hands.

I was so grateful to be in attendance. I was grateful that my mom was so willing to watch Chloe, so happy to be on a date with my main squeeze, and so overjoyed to be surrounded by so much inspiration. Marius was in attendance, and was such a delight! He talked about hope, his broad definition of "family," and was seriously cracking me up -- he's a funny little dude!

The infamous nienie was in attendance at the movie, and also appeared in a segment about burn victims. I went to meet her afterward, but she was already surrounded by loving fans . I'm not one who typically gets starstruck, but I have followed nienie's blog since even before her accident and even before I started blogging, and I have come to love her. I think she defines true beauty.

Stephanie Nielson (nienie)

I decided that I didn't need to meet her. It was just enough to be around her and Marius, and to have learned their special lessons. Stephanie shared a special lesson in this post recently. Please read it and soak up the message. Life is to be enjoyed and appreciated!

Watching this movie, and witnessing many other little miracles recently, have caused me to have this overwhelming sense of appreciation every second of every day! My heart is overloaded with joy lately. I wish I could somehow express it properly and/or bottle it up so I could just take it in the next time I need it. More than anything, I just appreciate the true gift that life is.... it is a mystery to unfold, and I sit anxiously awaiting what might come next! However, I also love this moment, exactly as things are now, with my Chloe and my hubby, and all the amazing people in my life. I love that every single day is an opportunity to create the life you want, to be the person you want to be, to experience love and joy. I appreciate the change of seasons, but particularly spring, with dandelions and tulips springing up through the snow, after the storms, reminding us that we too can persevere and find our way, bud and bloom and infuse color into the world.

Wow, am I rambling. Sometimes, though, I just have to allow myself to at least try to express the feelings in my heart. If I don't put those feelings out there, I'm afraid I might explode! So sorry for going on and on, but thank you for allowing me to prevent my own spontaneous combustion.

Last but not least, I appreciate the opportunity I have to be a mother. And specific Chloe's mother. What an honor! I was speaking with someone a few weeks ago, and told her a little about Chloe's condition. She said, "Oh, that would be the worst thing ever." I kept thinking about that phrase, 'the worst thing ever....' What is the worst thing? There is no right or wrong answer, but I imagined a few things: the death of a child, the death of a spouse, war, natural disasters, poverty, being an orphan.... I don't know what 'the worst thing ever' is, but I know one thing for sure is that Chloe and everything that makes up WHO Chloe is, and being her mother -- that is definitely NOT the worst thing ever!!! Oh, I know she didn't mean it that way, and I certainly wasn't offended, but I just wish that people who pity children with special needs and/or their parents could just have a peek into the reality of the situation. Yes, there are tough things about it, but even the tough stuff is sprinkled with love and joy and a vulnerability that adds beauty to life, purpose to days, and appreciation of the simple (yet most important) things.

Chloe appreciating her friendship with Minnie Mouse

The Upside of Being on the Underside

Is it just me, or did the weekend go by TOO FAST?!?!?

Oby and I started the weekend by going to see 127 Hours, one of the best films I've seen in a long time. I'm sure most of you know, but it's about the guy, Aron Ralston, whose arm was pinned by a rock in a slot canyon in 2003. He amputated his own arm with a simple tool and survived. Pretty amazing stuff.


I haven't been able to stop thinking about Aron Ralston and his dilemma ever since I saw the movie. Even though I knew the story well and knew how it would end, it surprised me what an impact watching the movie had on me. I thought about adversity in general and the tools we are given..... do we really use those tools to get through adversity, or do we let the adversity define us? And then I considered how it was the belief Aron had in his future (his son who was not yet born) that really motivated him to make the decisions and have the strength to get out of his situation. It got me thinking... Do I have that kind of faith in my future? Do I trust in my own "happy ending" enough to get through the tough moments, tough days? I couldn't help pondering these things after watching the movie and it made me want to dig a little deeper and live a little better. It touched me a lot.

Saturday I was invited to go to lunch with this amazing group of women. (Sorry for the poor picture quality!)

Eleah, Chrystal, Danielle, April, Me

I can't even begin to explain what a special group of women this is. I already know and love Chrystal and April, but I was grateful to meet Danielle and Eleah and to hear their amazing stories. We all have a special bond of love and gratitude for our special needs children. It was so touching for me to gain wisdom and strength from new friends. I could go on and on, but I'm not sure that they would want me to share much of their inspiring stories on my public blog, so I'll leave it at that.

On my way home from my lunch date, I was able to stop by my friend Molly's house and meet her new precious bundle, Miss Sylvie Gabriella.

*sigh* Can you just smell her baby skin? I could have snuggled her for days.

Molly still lives in the house where we were roommates. Well, officially she was my landlord I guess, but you get the idea. Molly asked if it was weird being in the house where I used to live, if it felt different or brought back memories. I replied no because I was just so caught up in snuggling Sylvie -- that was all I could take in at the moment, I guess.

But as I drove away, I started remembering all the years I spent in that home. The indescribable joys, the unbelievable heartaches, the laughter, the tears, successes, failures, good times and devastating blows.... You know how your 20's are, finding and defining yourself. For me, much of that was done in that house with Molly by my side.



And as I was driving home, I relived so much of what I experienced during that time. The faces, the feelings, the confusion and realizations.... they all came flooding to my memory like it had happened only yesterday. I had to laugh and smile in hindsight. To look back and see how every little experience built upon the other to lead me to who and where I am today. Not that who and where I am today is perfect, but it's lovely and I wouldn't want to trade it for the world. I wouldn't have wished many of my life experiences on myself. So thank goodness I'm not the one in charge because where would I be if I hadn't had those experiences? As I flashed back to this other time, it felt as though dots were connected, in a sense, and I was able to see the bigger picture. It was a moment of clarity of how much I truly need to trust in God's plan and allow my heart to trust that all of life's experiences will work together for my eternal gain. We have such limited perspective, you know? There needs to be much more trust in the divine.

My life is but a weaving between my God and me,
I do not choose the colors, He worketh steadily.
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper, and I the underside.

Not till the loom is silent, and shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful in the skillful Weaver's hand
As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.

When I got home from this enlightening day with friends, I got to spend time with these two. My loves. I was so grateful for all the experiences I've had that led me to this special time with this little family of mine. I adore them. I love this life.

Chloe loves to squeal in public and gets louder and higher pitched the more you try to shush her. Oby is irreverent and full of surprises. They make me laugh and they make me happy. I may not choose all of our current circumstances and sometimes get discouraged because I want things to be different. Well, shame on me. One day, I know I will look back at this time and be grateful for every smile AND every tear.

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven. . . .” (Orson F. Whitney as cited in Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Proceeds the Miracle, [1972], 99).

Performances

This week, I joined in with most of the female population and watched Eclipse at midnight. I went with my friend Janica beforehand and also watched Twilight and New Moon! It was a bit long to sit in the same seat, but with Janica by my side, it was a great time!....

I loved the movies and the performances. Okay, there are some cheesy parts, but apparently I like cheesy because I loved it!

Oby's kidneys are not performing at full function this week. He has a kidney stone. And not just any kidney stone. Most kidney stones that you hear about that are sooo painful and awful are about 3 mm in size. Oby's was 9.... HUGE! He had to have surgery on Friday and will have another one next Tuesday....

Under anesthesia, he thought he was Wolverine from X-Men. It was quite a performance!....

Here is a performance from Chloe. This is a new "trick" Grammy taught her this week. Most parents don't want their kids to stick out their tongues, but when Chloe does it on command, I think it's so cute!....

(sorry it's sideways, videos are not my thing)

The Spirit of Christmas

This Christmas season, I've been really trying to teach Chloe the correct spirit of the season.... joy, faith, love, tradition.....

Normally if we didn't have any obligations on a Saturday, I would want Oby to get things done around the house (it's still a work in progress). But today when I realized the day was free, I decided we should go do something fun as a family instead of focus on projects. We decided to take Chloe to see a movie.....



(I'm really not sure why she looks like a scraggly homeless child in this photo. She actually looked really super duper cute!) This was the first time we attempted to have her sit in her wheelchair for a movie. She did really great for about 45 minutes -- that is IMPRESSIVE! She was in awe at how loud it was and how big the screen was, she loved the snacks, and of course she loved our movie choice (and so did we!)....


This month, at night I've been snuggling Chloe up in festive pajamas....




And trying to spend less time with hobbies and projects, so I have more time to just be with Oby and Chloe and enjoy the season! Chloe and I love singing Christmas songs and listening to Christmas music. Whether we're in the car or at the house, there is always music playing -- everything from oldies to Handel's Messiah and kid songs to pop hits. We can't get enough of the festive tunes!....


I've been trying to spend a little more time reading to her as well. It is, after all, her favorite thing to do. Here are a few of our favorite picks right now....




Spending time with family, cute pajamas, music, books.... they're the simplest of things, but they have helped me feel the Christmas spirit in my heart more than ever this year!

I have a confession, though. Even though I've been feeling the warmth of the Christmas spirit, today I did have a slight meltdown. I'm emotional and sad about my friend's child's death. It makes my heart hurt. And when we were at the movie theater, I felt everyone in there just looking at Chloe with so much sadness. It made complete stranger's hearts hurt to see Chloe in a wheelchair unable to run and jump and dance like the rest of the children who were there. Just when these things were weighing on my mind, Oby asked if we were all done with our Christmas shopping. I mentioned an item that I'd really like to get Chloe that would be beneficial and therapeutic for her little body. When I mentioned the cost associated, Oby reminded me that we just couldn't afford it. And this caused my emotions to boil over.... I just cried and cried. I don't want babies to die, I don't want little children to be unable to speak and dance, I want to be able to afford things that my daughter needs.

Later I was feeling guilty about my breakdown, because I truly do know how blessed I am. I was thinking about everything while I sat in front of the Christmas tree, and I prayed that my heart would be healed and that I could have the Christmas spirit back. It was then that I realized that the reasons my heart was heavy could all be healed by the reason we celebrate Christmas -- Christ. He overcomes death. He heals the sick and lame. He blesses us with the things we need if we have faith, patience and trust Him.



And then I cried again. This time, they were tears of joy.

Here's a short video about the spirit of Christmas....



I hope you are feeling the true spirit of Christmas this year!

Whatcha Been Up To?

I ran into some friends at Home Depot the other day. It was one of those times when I looked at my outfit as I was walking in, and thought, 'I hope no one sees me!' ....... and of course, I saw three people! Despite my best efforts to dart out of view, they caught me with paint in my hair, sawdust on my cheeks, ash in my eyebrows, and spray paint everywhere in between. And every one of them asked the same question: "Whatcha been up to?"

So since it seems everyone wants to know, here's the run-down.....

We have been stripping, sanding, resurfacing, painting, staining, sweeping, mopping, scraping, vacuuming, lifting, dragging, sawing, filling, installing and etching up a storm. Our house is coming along quite quickly, actually. It seems slow in the moment, but when I look at the progress we've made in just a few weeks, I'm pretty impressed! We can't take all the credit, though - Oby's dad has been a huge help!!! I think our deadline of 7/31 might actually be met! Now, if we can just stick to the budget.............

We saw Harry Potter. I liked it. It was a little long, and the ending was a little anti-climatic, but overall it was good.

I'm trying to get into a special education program through USU. I've passed the preliminary tests. Now, don't take that the wrong way - I'm no test-taking genius. It took two tries with the math test, but after a little refresher study session, I passed! The plan is to take some courses concurrently with actually teaching in a special education classroom. After one year, I'll have my teaching certificate (if all goes as planned, that is!)...... So, let's hope all goes as planned! I never would have thought I would become a special ed teacher, but since Chloe is starting special ed in less than a year, I thought it would be good to have a little education and experience under my belt. If nothing else, I can just be more comfortable with how things work if I run into any issues along her educational journey. I kept trying to talk myself of doing it right now. 'We're so busy with the house. I'm working on the playground. I should do it another time.' But then I realized, when will life be less busy? Ummmm, never. So I decided to go for it - no time like the present, right? Let's hope so!

The Salt Lake Tribune called and wants to do an article about my plans for the playground. An interview is scheduled for later this week. So I've been scurrying around trying to get all my ducks in a row with my marketing strategy and non-profit organization so when the article comes out, I can really be ready for people to see what's going on. Also, they want to take photos of Chloe and I. Um, hello, do they think a person who is renovating a house on a tight schedule and a tight budget has the time or money to get her hair cut or colored? And a pedicure?..... don't even ask what my feet look like! But I guess I'll have to squeeze some time in because they were pretty specific that they wanted to pictures to be of Chloe and I, not just Chloe. Trust me, I tried to talk them into that!

Speaking of cute Chloe, we're headed to Primary Children's Medical Center tomorrow for her spinal MRI. An EMG is in a couple of weeks.

Speaking of hospitals, my nephew had skin graph surgery and I haven't even been to see him! I'm a terrible aunt.

Speaking of relatives, my dad's cousins, Bill and Dolores, have been in town from Indiana. They are so darn cute! We're going to miss them when they leave tomorrow....






Speaking of awesome family members, how are we doing all this work on the house and taking care of Chloe, you ask? It would not be possible at all without our parent's help! I cannot thank them enough. Really. There aren't words that express that much gratitude. Sometimes a 'thank you' is all there is.

So enough about me. Whatcha been up to?

Up & Popcorn

Yesterday we went to see Up.


Loved it, but it made me cry. I don't like crying. But the movie is good. So was the popcorn I ate that is sooooo against my diet, but soooooo good (especially with extra butter!) ;o)

I think it is so cute that Jake (nephew on my side of the family) and PJ (nephew on Oby's side of the family) are such cute friends! They get along really well, so we try to get them together every so often. They loved the movie and the popcorn too!

*********************

Today we worked UP - up on our popcorn ceilings in the house we're rennovating.

You know what popcorn ceilings are, don't you? If not, think back to your grandma's house or your old aunt's house. Remember the ugly ceilings with bumps and sparkles? That's the stuff we scraped off.

Who invented sparkly popcorn ceilings anyway? Whoever it is, I'd like to have a word with them! They owe me a massage on my shoulders and back!

Chloe's First Movie!

We actually went to this movie last weekend, but I'm just getting around to posting the pix. I know, I know. TMI Tara is really letting everyone down (especially my mom)! I'll try to be better and inundate you with Chloe pictures almost daily like I used to do, ok? =)

Oby's dad's company rented a theater for Aliens vs Monsters. Normally we would find a sitter for Miss Chloe when we went to a movie, but I decided it was time for her to experience the popcorn, drinks, big screen, and exciting movie! She had so much fun, and actually watched the movie. Okay, about half of it. But when she wasn't watching the movie, she was easily entertained with popcorn, straws, and 3D glasses.

Yep, she even wore the 3D glasses. There's a part in the movie where a ping pong ball comes at you in 3D, and that really freaked her out! Otherwise, she gave the 3D experience two enthusiastic thumbs up!

She was all about the popcorn. This girl loves her some popcorn!!!!

Jake and Papa also enjoyed the movie. And the drinks and popcorn. =)

This morning we had breakfast at my parent's house, and enjoyed relaxing and watching LDS conference. The weather here in Utah today is exceptionally delightful, and I hope it keeps up! My spring fever is in high gear!!! =)

It Had To Be You

If all goes as planned, we are at the cabin right now..... snowmobiling, eating delish food, sipping hot chocolate, and lounging around playing games and watching videos. And since it's Valentine's Day weekend, we will be watching my all-time favorite romantic comedy:

This movie has some of the best lines, best music, and gives the best perspective on dating, getting your heart broken, and falling in love. Oh, plus the little snippits of old couples telling their love stories. Does it get any better than that? Aaaah I just love it!

What's your favorite romantic comedy?
(Brownie points if you agree on When Harry Met Sally!)

Peaceful Warrior

Quotes taken from the movie, Peaceful Warrior....

• There are no ordinary moments.


• This moment is the only thing that matters.


• Wake up! If you knew for certain you had a terminal illness…if you had little time left to live…you would waste precious little of it. Well, I'm telling you…you do have a terminal illness: It's called birth. You don't have more than a few years left. No one does! So be happy now, without reason…or you will never be at all.


• The first realization of a warrior is not knowing.


• Every action has it's pleasure and it's price.


• You haven't yet opened your heart fully, to life, to each moment. The peaceful warrior's way is not about invulnerability, but absolute vulnerability…to the world, to life, and to the Presence you felt. All along I've shown you by example that a warrior's life is not about imagined perfection or victory; it is about love. Love is a warrior's sword; wherever it cuts, it gives life, not death.


• Find the love in what you do.


• Everything has a purpose. It's up to you to find it.


• If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.


• Some people live their whole lives without ever waking up.


• Knowledge is not the same as wisdom.


• Moderation? It's mediocrity, fear and confusion in disguise. It's the devil's dilemma. It's neither doing nor not doing. It's the wobbling compromise that makes no one happy. Moderation is for the bland, the apologetic, for the fence-sitters of the world afraid to take a stand. It's for those afraid to laugh or cry, for those afraid to live or die. Moderation…is lukewarm tea, the devil's own brew.


• I call myself a Peaceful Warrior…because the real battles we fight are on the inside.


• Find your answers from inside.


• Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is…the only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.


• Those who are hardest to love are the ones who need it most.


• Throw out everything that is keeping you from this moment.


• Where are you? Here. What time is it? Now. What are you? This moment.


• There is never nothing going on.


• Three principles of reality: Paradox, Humor, and Change.


• There is only the journey.

I'm no Siskel or Ebert. I don't know if the acting was particularly great. I only know that after watching Peaceful Warrior, the sentiment of the movie and the quotes I listed above stayed with me for many days, and will likely continue to motivate me for a long time.

Empathizing With the Kennedy's

Today I am in the spotlight!!!

And I am soaking it up! What can I say? I love the attention! How am I being spotlighted, you ask?....

Today I am the feature blogger on The Secret is in the Sauce, and let's just say....

"I can certainly understand how the Kennedy's must feel."

~quote from the movie Waiting for Guffman

This has got me thinking of some of the finest examples of those in the spotlight:

Olive from Little Miss Sunshine. And don't forget....

Napoleon Dynamite.

So SITS-ta's, HERE's a little about me that you may not know.

If you haven't had TMI yet, then feel free to look around. Here are some of my more popular posts:

Dear Nosy Onlooker

Crushin' on my Husband

Window to the Soul

Traveling Gnomes

Fun on the Swing

Mother Goose Really Knows

Rage 2008

I hope you've all enjoyed peaking around my blog and getting to know a little bit about my life (or too much, that is). Fame is certainly not an easy cross to bear, but I'm grateful for your support! ;O)

Cousins, a New Hairdo, Elmo, a Movie Review & a Flashback - Talk About TMI!!!

FINALLY my BIL Pete is done with law school in New Hampshire, so the Norseth's are back in town - just in time for the holidays! We couldn't be happier, and I'm sure they're pretty thrilled that law school is behind them too. Chloe especially likes having her cousins around....

Chloe and Henry relaxin and watching Dora the Explorer

Chloe getting kisses from PJ

We also love having Taylor back because, well because she's Taylor, but also because she's a fab hairdresser and we get makeovers. Here I thought Chloe had hardly any hair, but when Taylor saw just the tiny bit Chloe's hair had grown, she said, "Oh, we can do so much with that!" I thought she was joking, but I was wrong! It's hard to see in the pictures, but Chloe was sportin' a 'topsy tail.' It looked sooooo cute! Good thing Taylor has nieces to primp, because she's got two boys and one on the way!

Chloe and her fab stylist Taylor

I thought it was called a 'topsy turvy'

but I guess 'topsy tail' makes more sense

I love the whispy bangs!

When we got home, Chloe seemed a little lonely. After being with cousins all day, coming home to be just with Mom and Dad was boring. So we got Elmo out from under the tree, since she's already been playing with him anyway, and let her run amuk with her red furry friend.

Chloe loves Elmo 'this much'!

(If you have an Elmo Live, you know what I mean by that)

After dancing, he tells Chloe a story


He's no cousin, but he's a great friend!

NOW, I'm no Siskel OR Ebert, but I've got to share my opinion anyway, on.....

LOVED. it. I had seen the play, and loved that, so I thought surely the movie would disappoint. But I was pleasantly surprised! I loved the cast and they did an okay job of sticking to the story. I've watched it three times in 24 hours. My love for Mamma Mia truly stems from my love of.....

ABBA

Now there are some (mmm hmmmm Taylor) who don't even know who ABBA is (gasp!) I, however, am head over heels in love with them and almost every single one of their songs.

which is exactly why when there was a lip-syncing contest at a church function, oh about five years ago, I eagerly grabbed three of my pals, some 70's-ish clothes, some mullett wigs and aviators for the guys, and coreographed a dance to 'Take a Chance On Me.' Needless to say, we were a hit! Do you see the resemblance to the real ABBA? My outfit was way more fab than this picture shows. I had a furry vest and these awesome gogo boots. There is a video out there somewhere, and hopefully it doesn't get out. I plan to copyright some of those moves!