The Upside of Being on the Underside

Is it just me, or did the weekend go by TOO FAST?!?!?

Oby and I started the weekend by going to see 127 Hours, one of the best films I've seen in a long time. I'm sure most of you know, but it's about the guy, Aron Ralston, whose arm was pinned by a rock in a slot canyon in 2003. He amputated his own arm with a simple tool and survived. Pretty amazing stuff.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about Aron Ralston and his dilemma ever since I saw the movie. Even though I knew the story well and knew how it would end, it surprised me what an impact watching the movie had on me. I thought about adversity in general and the tools we are given..... do we really use those tools to get through adversity, or do we let the adversity define us? And then I considered how it was the belief Aron had in his future (his son who was not yet born) that really motivated him to make the decisions and have the strength to get out of his situation. It got me thinking... Do I have that kind of faith in my future? Do I trust in my own "happy ending" enough to get through the tough moments, tough days? I couldn't help pondering these things after watching the movie and it made me want to dig a little deeper and live a little better. It touched me a lot.

Saturday I was invited to go to lunch with this amazing group of women. (Sorry for the poor picture quality!)

Eleah, Chrystal, Danielle, April, Me

I can't even begin to explain what a special group of women this is. I already know and love Chrystal and April, but I was grateful to meet Danielle and Eleah and to hear their amazing stories. We all have a special bond of love and gratitude for our special needs children. It was so touching for me to gain wisdom and strength from new friends. I could go on and on, but I'm not sure that they would want me to share much of their inspiring stories on my public blog, so I'll leave it at that.

On my way home from my lunch date, I was able to stop by my friend Molly's house and meet her new precious bundle, Miss Sylvie Gabriella.

*sigh* Can you just smell her baby skin? I could have snuggled her for days.

Molly still lives in the house where we were roommates. Well, officially she was my landlord I guess, but you get the idea. Molly asked if it was weird being in the house where I used to live, if it felt different or brought back memories. I replied no because I was just so caught up in snuggling Sylvie -- that was all I could take in at the moment, I guess.

But as I drove away, I started remembering all the years I spent in that home. The indescribable joys, the unbelievable heartaches, the laughter, the tears, successes, failures, good times and devastating blows.... You know how your 20's are, finding and defining yourself. For me, much of that was done in that house with Molly by my side.

And as I was driving home, I relived so much of what I experienced during that time. The faces, the feelings, the confusion and realizations.... they all came flooding to my memory like it had happened only yesterday. I had to laugh and smile in hindsight. To look back and see how every little experience built upon the other to lead me to who and where I am today. Not that who and where I am today is perfect, but it's lovely and I wouldn't want to trade it for the world. I wouldn't have wished many of my life experiences on myself. So thank goodness I'm not the one in charge because where would I be if I hadn't had those experiences? As I flashed back to this other time, it felt as though dots were connected, in a sense, and I was able to see the bigger picture. It was a moment of clarity of how much I truly need to trust in God's plan and allow my heart to trust that all of life's experiences will work together for my eternal gain. We have such limited perspective, you know? There needs to be much more trust in the divine.

My life is but a weaving between my God and me,
I do not choose the colors, He worketh steadily.
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper, and I the underside.

Not till the loom is silent, and shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful in the skillful Weaver's hand
As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.

When I got home from this enlightening day with friends, I got to spend time with these two. My loves. I was so grateful for all the experiences I've had that led me to this special time with this little family of mine. I adore them. I love this life.

Chloe loves to squeal in public and gets louder and higher pitched the more you try to shush her. Oby is irreverent and full of surprises. They make me laugh and they make me happy. I may not choose all of our current circumstances and sometimes get discouraged because I want things to be different. Well, shame on me. One day, I know I will look back at this time and be grateful for every smile AND every tear.

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven. . . .” (Orson F. Whitney as cited in Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Proceeds the Miracle, [1972], 99).


Becky said...

I wish I could have joined your lady lunch. :) I'm thinking I need to move to Utah!

Ambitions of a Trophy Wife said...

Thank you for sharing this. Often I feel alone and reading blogs like your reminds me that we are all trying to figure this world out and what our "plan" is.

Angela said...

Can I join one of your lunches...I have driven to Utah from CO before LOL

Mrs. Bennett said...

What a lovely post. Thank you!

Mel said...

Thanks for sharing. I really needed to hear that today!!(((hugs)))

Dan and Patrice said...

Beautiful post!

April said...

Oh Tara- what a lovely post! It was so good to be with you! Thanks for being a dear friend to me! xoxox

Grand Pooba said...

...Still taking in that baby smell!