Normally if we didn't have any obligations on a Saturday, I would want Oby to get things done around the house (it's still a work in progress). But today when I realized the day was free, I decided we should go do something fun as a family instead of focus on projects. We decided to take Chloe to see a movie.....
(I'm really not sure why she looks like a scraggly homeless child in this photo. She actually looked really super duper cute!) This was the first time we attempted to have her sit in her wheelchair for a movie. She did really great for about 45 minutes -- that is IMPRESSIVE! She was in awe at how loud it was and how big the screen was, she loved the snacks, and of course she loved our movie choice (and so did we!)....
This month, at night I've been snuggling Chloe up in festive pajamas....
And trying to spend less time with hobbies and projects, so I have more time to just be with Oby and Chloe and enjoy the season! Chloe and I love singing Christmas songs and listening to Christmas music. Whether we're in the car or at the house, there is always music playing -- everything from oldies to Handel's Messiah and kid songs to pop hits. We can't get enough of the festive tunes!....
I've been trying to spend a little more time reading to her as well. It is, after all, her favorite thing to do. Here are a few of our favorite picks right now....
Spending time with family, cute pajamas, music, books.... they're the simplest of things, but they have helped me feel the Christmas spirit in my heart more than ever this year!
I have a confession, though. Even though I've been feeling the warmth of the Christmas spirit, today I did have a slight meltdown. I'm emotional and sad about my friend's child's death. It makes my heart hurt. And when we were at the movie theater, I felt everyone in there just looking at Chloe with so much sadness. It made complete stranger's hearts hurt to see Chloe in a wheelchair unable to run and jump and dance like the rest of the children who were there. Just when these things were weighing on my mind, Oby asked if we were all done with our Christmas shopping. I mentioned an item that I'd really like to get Chloe that would be beneficial and therapeutic for her little body. When I mentioned the cost associated, Oby reminded me that we just couldn't afford it. And this caused my emotions to boil over.... I just cried and cried. I don't want babies to die, I don't want little children to be unable to speak and dance, I want to be able to afford things that my daughter needs.
Later I was feeling guilty about my breakdown, because I truly do know how blessed I am. I was thinking about everything while I sat in front of the Christmas tree, and I prayed that my heart would be healed and that I could have the Christmas spirit back. It was then that I realized that the reasons my heart was heavy could all be healed by the reason we celebrate Christmas -- Christ. He overcomes death. He heals the sick and lame. He blesses us with the things we need if we have faith, patience and trust Him.
And then I cried again. This time, they were tears of joy.
Here's a short video about the spirit of Christmas....
I hope you are feeling the true spirit of Christmas this year!
8 comments:
Oh, Tara...I so get it.
You are certainly entitled to a meltdown now and again. I assure you, parents of "normal" kids have them too. It's part of living and feeling and surrendering the control of things you can't control!
Glad you were able to bounce back. Thanks for sharing, and for the reminder of the true spirit of Christmas!
Enjoy your week with your beautiful family.
hugs!
Could her PJ's be any cuter?!!!
We haven't taken Emma to a movie yet, but we do plan to take the girls to see this movie over the holidays. I'm really looking forward to it. And to some down time. But, I'm not looking forward to sad stares. I just HATE, HATE, HATE them.
As for the money, well.....I always get a similar reaction from my husband about the money but, you know what? I find that somehow it always comes through when you least expect it. Somehow, it just works out. I hope you find the same thing happen to you this time around.
Merry Christmas!
I have been sad too...I can't tell you how many tears I have cried over MaKenzie's passing (and I didn't even know her)...then my neighbor came over and cried with me! My heart aches for her mommy. I think it hit home more because Kenzie is my Aiddie's age. Give her loves from a stranger and let her know she is in our prayers too!
And thanks for the reminder to not stare sadly, but greet with joy kids with special needs!
Love you.
What a moving post - thank you for sharing. Those pj pictures are the cutest! Squeeze Chloe for me. xoxo
Oh I'm so glad you've been making wonderful Christmas memories- I'm so sad to hear about Makenzie's.. and I understand those tender and sad moments.... I'm sorry.
** I just posted that same clip today! We have the same you tube brain :)
I am really feeling it right now too...the real and true significance of all of this. I need to email you. I think I will now.
Oh Tara this was beautiful!! Tears and Tears!! So needed this!! You know I felt like this often when Tucker was little but it really has increased for me now that he is older and going to school!! So many kids are amazingly nice to him, we walk down the hall and so many children say hey Tucker and acknowledge him. It is so sweet!! But my heart aches because he really has no connection with anyone in particular. He is limited and all the kids know this and so they try but there is a gap always. I have cried many tears for him to find this amazing friend who will see him for who he is and not his disability!! It is my hardest trial to not want more for him!! He smiles and never lets on that it bothers him I don't know if it is because he feels I will be more heart broken or what. Not sure. I just want you to know that you are not alone!!
The one thing I try to remember is that I will one day experience the ressurection in a way that only a mother with a child with disabilities can understand!! The joy that will fill my heart will be overflowing with gratitude that there will be no words to describe it!! How blessed we are to have a Savior and can celebrate His life!! THanks you for sharing your real moment it helps me! You are amazing and have done so many great things for Chloe she is blessed by you!! THanks for being you!!
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