Mommy Makeover

While shopping the other day, I ran into a friend from my single days. She was the one who came up to me, so she did recognize me, but she said, "I almost didn't recognize you. You look so.... different!"

I couldn't help but think, 'And by different, of course you mean fat, dissheveled, and ugly.'

Single Tara out to dinner on a vay-cay

Mommy Tara out to dinner on a vay-cay (thankfully Chloe's hiding my tummy, my arms are cut out, and my hair's dangling over my double chin

Single Tara on Christmas Day

(Oh, my perfect eyebrows.... I used to prioritize making time for my perfect eyebrows!)

Mommy Tara at Christmastime

(hello, eyebrows, are you there??? Yes, double chin, we see you... you're not hard to find. Black eyes from not getting a good night's sleep in who knows how long - don't worry, we couldn't miss you if we tried. And thank goodness for my lap buddy covering up other unwanted sites!)

And my looks aren't the only one way I have changed! Back in the day, I was the queen of organization. My roommates always teased me about my OCD ways. All cd's and videos were alphabetized and categorized, and if anyone messed with it, I would catch on in a matter of hours. Everything had to be 'just so.'

I assumed this had become a habit and something I would carry with me as a mother.

Wrong.

The other day my SIL was over and I told her we had a movie for my nephew to watch. I had to come find it (because truthfully I knew it was a crap-shoot as to where it would be). I sorted through a few piles of unorganized, un-cased, and un-cared-for dvd's. I couldn't help but giggle and sigh when I remembered how I had let my organized ways go!

And the paychecks? Oye. I quit my job to care for Chloe and all of her medical needs. Sometimes, I have to admit, I miss my paycheck and the things I could buy.

As I mentioned, we're all signed up to run a 5k in May, so I am trying to get my bod in shape before that day comes. I've been going to water aerobics and, of all things, using the food pyramid as my diet guide. I'm working into jogging (because to be honest I hate jogging). Anyway, at water aerobics last week, I ran into a different friend from my single days. My worst nightmare, I was in my swimming suit with mascara running on all the wrong spots on my face, my hair wet and matted to my head... not pretty.

This friend mentioned that she had talked to our other friend who saw me at the store. She said, "Helen said you look so good, and she was right! You look so happy! You look so good!"

'Good? Could it be that even though I look like the 'before' picture on a Jenny Craig commercial, what other people see is that I look good? Yes, I've gained some undeniable pounds, but maybe there's something more than just how much I weigh.

Remember my word for 2009? It was joy. And I love this saying about joy....
I truly believe that happiness changes the way we appear to others. I am happy. Trust me when I say that I was happy as a single person, but there was an uncertainty and longing for more that was always in the forefront.

Although marriage and motherhood (and the stresses and joys that have come with it) have changed my lifestyle so completely, and it's hard to find time to perfect my eyebrows and hit the gym as much as I once did, it has brought so much joy and happiness to my life. It has refined my soul, and strengthened my faith. It has taken me to the depths of humility and the highest heights of joy and triumph. Is it possible that this refinement has taught me that organized dvd's aren't nearly as important as playing with my baby girl, doing exercises with her, and making sure all her needs are met? And there's no doubt - I get paychecks. But Chloe gives a different type of paycheck. The best part: she doesn't wait to give it to me every two weeks. She gives me hope, purpose, faith, smiles, giggles, accomplishments every second of every day..... My wallet might be thinner, but my heart has more than doubled in size!

Yes, motherhood is messing with my hair....

(and my eyebrows, and my pant-size, and the color of my under-eye, and my wallet size, and my fashion sense, and my organization/cleaning skills)

But, let me rally the rest of you in my attempt to 'get over it.' Let's accept our changes and allow the make-up of joy to truly makeover our look and our perspective.

Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to get healthy so I can run the 5k. And in that attempt, I'll likely shed some pounds. But I'm not doing it so I can fit into my size 4's. I'm doing it so I can be healthy and be the best mom I can be for Chloe (and someday, more little rugrats).

Here's to joy in motherhood and truly looking (and feeling) good!