Sleeping is Good!

I've had several requests from family, friends and followers wanting to know how our "cry it out" method of sleeping has been working.

I've been waiting to post about it until I could find the words to properly express my feelings, but I can't find a way to fully get my emotions into words, so I'm just gonna go for it and hope you get my point.

"Ferberizing" Chloe, or making her "cry it out" at night has changed my life. In a good way.

Don't get me wrong, it was hard. Very hard. The first night she cried pretty much the entire time. I was physically ill, it just felt so unnatural as a mother not to see to my crying child.

But surprisingly I did sleep better than I had in a long time. I think it was because so many doctors had to explained to me all the things that were NOT wrong with Chloe. The only logical explanation left (aside from reflux, which she is being treated for) is that she has behavioral issues associated with sleep. So because I want Chloe to have confidence and an ability to know that she is capable of taking care of some things on her own, I was somehow able to block out the cries and get some zzzz's.

The morning after the first night, Chloe was MAD at me. I think it was the first time she had ever been so completely angry at anyone. She wouldn't even look at me. But we went to visit my mom, and she was able to vent. It really was so funny. She just went on and on in her own little Chloe language, telling my mom all about how she cried and cried and I didn't come to her rescue. But my mom explained to her that she was okay and she needs to sleep alone in her own bed at night, and everyone needs to get sleep so we can take care of each other and have fun during the day. After her little heart-to-heart with my mom, she seemed to quickly forgive (isn't that so Chloe *sigh*), and we all moved on.

Almost every night since then, she has awoken only once or twice, cried for anywhere from 5-30 minutes, with infrequent check-ins from me, then soothed herself back to sleep.

We have been getting 6-8 hours of good sleep every night.




Just typing that brings a lump to my throat because I am so grateful. Thankful beyond words. Until these past couple of years without sleep, I never appreciated it enough. It is crucial to a healthy life that you get good nights of sleep.

Every once in awhile, if she cries, it gets to me. It just tugs at my heart and I want to run and rescue her. I have had a few moments when I have to just curl up in the fetal position and will myself to keep away from her, my logical self assuring my emotional self that this is for the best. Those moments of heartache usually pass quickly because I'm able to remember how much this has changed my life.

"Changed my life." Seems a bit dramatic, but let me tell you what. I mean it 100%.

We have a better routine. I feel like the sky is the limit with every single day. I still don't get everything done that I usually want to get done, but I am much more productive than I have been in over two years.

Do you know what that feels like?

AMAZING!

It has been a bit of an awakening for me. Funny that getting sleep would cause an awakening? But seriously, I just feel like all limits and restrictions that I put on Chloe and I before have been removed. It has been very good for my physical and emotional health.

This has been so good for Chloe, as well. I do feel that she is maturing because of this. She is less likely to cry if I'm not holding her every second. I think her ability to self-soothe has translated into a greater ability to also self-entertain. She is much more apt to watch television. Hey, three minutes of attention on the TV is a lot more than zero seconds.

I am so grateful that we decided to implement the Ferber/cry-it-out method. For anyone considering it, go for it. My only regret is that we didn't do it sooner.