Roadblocks & Rewards

I've been thinking a lot about adversity this week. I think that's because I watched this video. If you have any extra time, I highly recommend watching it.... it is incredible and very inspiring.




Chloe has been very sick this week. She is having some serious issues with her digestion. We have tried everything and aren't sure what to do. She's in constant pain and it just breaks my heart. Neither of us are getting good sleep, just taking naps when we can. It's been hard.

The playground project is already hitting some major bumps in the road. My plans and expectations were that the city would partner with Unlimited Play to streamline the process a great deal. Because the mayor and city council donated land and seemed to support the project, I thought things were going to go very smoothly. I don't have the energy to (and probably shouldn't) go into the details, but it has NOT been a smooth process at all so far.

When I was in the waiting room last night with Chloe, there was a mom with a daughter Chloe's age. In fact, she had Chloe's same hair color and curls. She was adorable. I got talking with the other mom and told her a little bit about Chloe's condition. She said, "Oh, if that were my child I don't think I could do it." She told me how strong and amazing she thought I was to be such an advocate for my child, in spite of everything we face.

She was very nice, but I thought about what she said quite a bit. Does she really know what she's capable of without actually facing it? I don't think so. How could she? I think that if she had been blessed with a special needs child, she would be amazing. Most special needs moms are amazing advocates for their kids. It's possible that they are all inherently amazing at standing up for causes they believe in, but I personally believe that their strength comes because they are faced with adversity.

I'm fairly confident that if our situations were reversed, if I had a healthy child and I saw that mom with her special needs child in a waiting room, I would be saying or at least thinking, 'How does she do that? I couldn't do that,' as I watched that mom be an amazing mom in a difficult situation.

It made me think about something that is talked about in the video I mentioned before. Is someone strong in spite of challenges they face or because of challenges they face?

If it weren't for Chloe's disabilities, how would I know what I was capable of as a mother, what lengths I would truly be willing to go to? If it weren't for the apparent road blocks for the playground, how would I know how much I would be willing to fight for this cause I truly believe in?

I am frustrated, but I am not deterred.

I hope Chloe knows that I will never give up on her. I think she does. This week while she's been in pain, she has looked at me with her big blue eyes, begging me to help her feel better. It hurts that I haven't been able to help her the way I want to, but I've done everything I can do, and she thanks me with those same big blue eyes.

If there is anyone in this world who thinks they can frustrate my cause for the playground, they've got another thing coming. Any resistance I get will just cause me to dig in my heals that much deeper and fight that much harder. Their resistance is not a road block, but a true opportunity for me to show them and myself that I do not and will not give up. Geesh, they must not know me very well! I don't think I really knew that about myself, but adversity has a way of teaching the truth about ourselves. I'm confident that we'll make it through this challenge, but I'm also confident that there will be more bumps in the road in the future, so this is just preparing me for what's ahead!

Despite the roadblocks I've faced this week, I've also had some incredible blessings. Of course, I've had lots of help with Chloe. As always, Oby is the most amazing husband and 100% there for Chloe and I. When he gets home from work, the first thing he does is tell me that he's got things covered with Chloe and demand that I go take a nap, because he knows I'm sleep deprived. He's done a million other little things to truly be there for us, and I can't express how much I appreciate it. I always love and appreciate that I have a great husband, but when we go through struggles, his amazing-ness seems to be highlighted!

I've also got some incredible support for the playground. I don't want to go into the details of that until things are more finalized, but I've got some pretty big supporters on my side, and it is awesome!

Thank you, everyone, for your support. You have no idea how much I truly value my friendships and family relationships. I am blessed beyond description. Thank you!!!