Today I had an epiphany.
I was getting Chloe in her car seat to take her to therapy.
She does this thing where she puts her arm in my way so I can't do what I'm trying to do and she giggles. She thinks she is sooooo funny.
She is very much like her daddy in that way.
I said to her, "Chloe, you have to let me get you buckled up. We need to get to therapy. I'm gonna get you fixed!"
When I said that, we had a moment. We've had these moments before. Now, please don't think I'm crazy, but.... I have the gift of tongues, in a sense, with Chloe. Even though she's non-verbal, sometimes she speaks to me.
It's probable that only other parents of non-verbal children will completely understand how real this is or believe it is even possible. It's like her soul speaks to my soul. It is not English, it is not body language, it is not another unstudied language, it is real soul-to-soul communication.
She spoke to me in that moment. First she laughed, a deep laugh from her gut. Then she said, "YOU think you're going to fix ME? That is funny!"
And I realized and remembered what I've learned before. She is perfect as she is. I am the one who needs to be repaired. Deep within my soul I need to remember what truly matters. Chloe's earthly mission is to help others. Sometimes I get full of myself and think I'm helping her, but in every single way she is helping me. Fixing me. Refining my soul.
Thank you, Chloe, for the life lesson :)
19 comments:
So well said. Perfect!
great post...
sometimes i think they are closer to being divine than we will ever hope to be while on earth. they're beyond all of the stupid crud that weighs the rest of us down...prejudice, wanting, judgement, etc. God got it right with them. us, not so much. betsy definitely speaks to me. sometimes, i think that language is waaaaay better than any she could speak with her voice.
It is so amazing how perfect she truly is, we can all learn how to be more perfect beings from Chloe. Love you guys!
Chloe reminds me so much of Kennedy...she does the same thing while getting her into the carseat...and laughs. I love when they talk just with a smile or laugh...or when they are cooing and you can make out what they just said! Kennedy had a great day of doing that today!
Perfectly said.
wonderful post, tara. i know for sure that trinity has fixed me (and continues to, everyday) in a lot of ways.
Beautiful!
Perfect post. Thank you, Tara. I know that's what Dakin has done for me...boy, has he ever fixed me. And is still in the process--I have a lot of fixing to be done.
Tara, how beautiful, how perfect, how true. You just captured the essence of our journey. You are so right!!!
I forget this and get all caught up in the "fixing him" part...and then after I suffer a bit he "talks to me" and tells me, "mommy i'm perfect" and I remember this journey is about him helping me, and others, not the other way around :-) Thanks for the sublime reminder.
Thank you for the most beautiful post! Just what I needed to hear....
P.s. How is ABM going?
Oh I truly believe in soul to soul communication! Especially between mother and daughter.
I hope I'm not out of line in asking this but will Chloe ever learn to talk?
This I believe!
WOW. What truth in what you just shared! Thank you for reminding me that it's not my job to "fix" Marcus either. Fearfully and wonderfully made, for sure.
Your gift for sharing things is perfect too. I haven't checked in with you for awhile. I am always uplifted by your words. I think it is so neat that you and Chloe communicate soul to soul. I love her words you shared with us. Even though I only know Chole from your blog, I could just picture her saying that... too sweet and what a great lesson. Thanks for sharing.
I thought you should know too that I used your blog a few weeks ago to help one of my patient's moms. She had feed her baby past the cut off point to be able to sedate him for an MRI. She was in tears and totally devestated and disappointed with herself. She had been through an EEG with her little one the night before and told me she was just so sleep deprived she got things mixed up. It was so sad to see her so devestated and my heart was breaking for her. Her little one was only a few months old and having significant problems. They needed a brain MRI to figure out what was going on and this poor mom felt she had messed everything up. I thought of you, your blog and all your stories that bring things into perspective as I tried to make her feel better and reschedule things. I asked her if she wanted a blog that would make her feel better and she said, "That would be great." So I gave her your address and told her about the "incident" post. You and Chloe are a perfect team helping people in ways you can't even realize fully.
Hey, maybe we should take a photo shop class from Angie together. I have no idea what I'm doing with that thing.
What an amazing experience.
I believe that people can communicate throught the spirit.
And isn't perspective a beautiful thing? Who is fixing who? I think both you and Chloe have a divine purpose and desitny.
I'm a believer. A few children have spoke to my heart, too. Without words. Barbara
I am one of those mom's with the non-verbal child who talks to them in their own little way, and luckily I am one who understands it, and love it.
What you wrote warms my heart, it is so true and you just put it into works perfectly. Thank you!
I believe Daniel is here to fix me too!
Oh Tara thank you!! I loved this post!!
I had one of those the other day!! I was talking to this soldier who has been badly injured and told him what a hero he is for fighting for our country! He said to me I am not the hero. I am just doing what anyone would do so our children can have the same rights and priviledges we all had. He then said To me your son is a hero because he overcomes his obstacles in life and chooses not to complain.
I had a moment a life lesson! I had never seen Tucker in this way. I too think I am trying to help him reach what he came to do but in all reality it is me that needs the fixing!!
Oh you are so great to see how perfect Chloe is!! THank you for being so inspiring!!
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