Take Flight

My little Chloe - I learn so much from her! I've learned this from her before, but it recently seems to be a lesson she's trying to teach me even more, and that is to

never give up on dreams.

I've mentioned before that she has a seizure disorder that causes her to be significantly delayed with her physical abilities, and she may never catch up. She is actively involved in many types of therapies (we're starting music therapy tomorrow, and I'm so excited about that!), but we have been told it is possible that she may never learn to sit, crawl, or walk. Her physical therapist has even mentioned that I may want to look into getting a wheelchair in the next few months. I don't know why, but this one was really hard for me to swallow, harder than the special braces she wears or surgery she has had or anything. It's just that she looks absolutely perfect, you would never guess anything is wrong with her.... in fact, most strangers she meets comment that she looks so tired, because they think the fact that her head falls over is because of fatigue. Sometimes I explain the truth to them, and other times I like them to think everything is normal.

But if she's in a wheelchair, everyone will know that she is disabled. I'm afraid of getting blank stares, or too many questions, or people looking the other way because they're uncomfortable. The truth is, I am grateful for my child and wouldn't change her. She is special and she has special needs. I used to think the term 'special needs' was an unkind title, but read THIS POST to find why my perspective changed on that subject. I just want her to be able to explore and enjoy life to the fullest, even if it means hard work, or that her abilities take longer to come, or don't come the way I think they should.

Well, this evening we were watching Signing Times, as we often do. We have some of the videos and also watch the TV show on DVR. I'm sure most of you know, but if you don't, Signing Times is a program that teaches sign language. They also have the cutest songs that go along with the words they teach. The show we watched tonight was on The Outdoors.

Let me preface by saying, I have had a special place in my heart for caterpillars and butterflies ever since I did THIS POST. I think of Chloe as a little caterpillar who dreams of becoming a butterfly, and will become a butterfly - someday! In fact, her Halloween costume is a butterfly. I can't wait to show her off in that costume, it is so stinkin' cute!

The very last song on The Outdoors episode of Signing Times was called Caterpillar Dreams. As the song was playing it showed the creator's 2nd daughter, who is in a wheelchair, wearing butterfly wings and doing the signs. The story behind the creation of Signing Times is inspiring to say the least, you can find it by clicking HERE. It was very apparent that Chloe loved this song. She is unable to verbally communicate, but sometimes there is no question about how she feels, and this was one of those times. Also, despite her inability to communicate, I feel certain that she understands much more than the majority of children her age, and I believe she understood the message of this song.

Here are the lyrics that I find so sweet:

Caterpillar Dreams

I’m a little CATERPILLAR tiny and green
Crawlin’ around head full of dreams
Inch by inch takes all day
I’m dreamin’ of wings and flyin’ away

Just a little CATERPILLAR down on the ground
I climb a tree hang upside down
I don’t know why I build a cocoon
Not sure why I do what I do

But if I were a BUTTERFLY
I could leave the ground behind
Would things look different way up high?
I wish I were a BUTTERFLY

I’m just a little CATERPILLAR fast asleep
Eyes closed tight lost in a dream
In my dream I break free
Stretch out my legs and check out my wings

I feel just like a BUTTERFLY
Watch me leave the ground behind
Things look different way up high
I feel just like a BUTTERFLY

Look at me I’m flying!
I’m really flying!
Somebody pinch me!

And here is the video, that is beyond sweet:

(pause the music on the sidebar before playing this video)

This song and its lyrics reminded me that it is okay to have dreams of Chloe transforming, but it's also okay for her to be exactly as she is. I'm certain that she has the desire to do more than she is capable of. Mentally she is much further along than she is physically, so unfortunately it's likely that she feels frustrated because of her restrictions. But as a mother, I am grateful to embrace my child and all that she is and isn't. We will look into some wheelchairs, but that doesn't mean she will be in a wheelchair forever. I believe there is a reason we have desires and dreams, and it is so we can rise above mediocrity, persevere, and achieve our highest potential. It is my goal for my baby to do her best, whatever that is, and that alone will mean she has taken flight.

My wish is that we can all believe in our dreams, no matter how big or small they may be, and take flight to a greater potential.